1
00:00:05,870 --> 00:00:11,610
You are my nearest and dearest, you see,
and you mean all the world to me.

2
00:00:12,230 --> 00:00:18,310
When you are by my side, the shadows run
and hide, oh, how great it can be.

3
00:00:18,770 --> 00:00:24,710
You are my nearest and dearest, you
know, and I need you wherever I go.

4
00:00:25,410 --> 00:00:31,370
And when you hold my hand, it's like a
wonderland, you know that I love you so.

5
00:00:32,220 --> 00:00:36,620
I hope the day comes soon when we'll be
always together.

6
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:43,600
You and me, you know that you will be my
nearest and dearest forever.

7
00:00:44,140 --> 00:00:48,060
Oh, can't you see? Cause I love you,
come rain or come shine.

8
00:00:48,620 --> 00:00:51,260
And I know you will always be mine.

9
00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:57,980
I want the world to see that you will
always be the nearest and dearest to me.

10
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,460
Give that... I say!

11
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:48,760
Just... Hang on just a minute, darling.

12
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:54,460
You see... I say, could you spare a
minute? You see, what I wanted to...

13
00:01:54,460 --> 00:01:57,800
Oh, I nearly had me.

14
00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,140
A woman can't walk the street these
days.

15
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,040
Hello there.

16
00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:04,140
I've got something for you.

17
00:02:04,460 --> 00:02:05,920
Oh, have you now?

18
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,120
Don't expect me to fall for that.

19
00:02:08,810 --> 00:02:10,750
How do I know you're not the Boston
Dangler?

20
00:02:11,009 --> 00:02:14,110
If you've got anything for me, you can
stick it through the letterbox.

21
00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:15,630
It might be too big.

22
00:02:15,930 --> 00:02:19,330
Well, I'm not opening the door, so
you'll just have to try and squeeze it

23
00:02:19,330 --> 00:02:21,830
through. All right, then, but be ready
to get hold of it.

24
00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:26,110
Oh, I'm a fool.

25
00:02:28,130 --> 00:02:29,630
Oh, thank you very glad.

26
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,960
Oh, I'm glad you haven't. Oh, Dad, I
thought you'd gone.

27
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:06,280
Well, I haven't.

28
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:10,800
I am glad you haven't. I brought you
some lovely black pudding for your tea.

29
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,920
Oh, well, I left it till tea time. I
suppose I'll enjoy them.

30
00:03:14,340 --> 00:03:17,320
Now, keep your hands off this sheet.
You're too bloody quick with it

31
00:03:17,860 --> 00:03:19,160
Well, you keep telling me you're going.

32
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,900
Well, I might be, but I'm not in any
hurry.

33
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:24,520
You'll know when I'm going.

34
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,280
I'll take my teeth out.

35
00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:27,700
You'll what?

36
00:03:28,359 --> 00:03:33,680
You're not being laid out in the parlour
then. If you take your teeth out,

37
00:03:33,740 --> 00:03:35,040
you're going to be laid out in the
kitchen.

38
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,440
That'll have to be.

39
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:37,920
Them teeth are promised.

40
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,300
Promised? Yes, old Stan Hardman.

41
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,880
Stan Hardman? What the hell's he going
to do with them?

42
00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:45,840
What the hell do you think he's going to
do with them?

43
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,800
Oh, it's insanity.

44
00:03:49,580 --> 00:03:51,040
Stick them in our pick overnight.

45
00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:52,740
There's years in these teeth yet.

46
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:55,360
Hey, any news of her, Eli?

47
00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:57,500
No. Nice, isn't he?

48
00:03:58,420 --> 00:04:01,900
Fifteen years he's been away and he
can't come home to see his father go.

49
00:04:02,220 --> 00:04:03,600
Have you tried to get in touch?

50
00:04:03,940 --> 00:04:07,320
Of course I have. Trekked all the way to
Manchester, I did, to the newspaper

51
00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:11,120
office. And I told the young woman there
I said I wanted to put my brother in a

52
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:16,160
smalls. Oh, you put one of them come
home advertisements in, did you?

53
00:04:16,399 --> 00:04:17,399
Mm.

54
00:04:17,519 --> 00:04:18,519
But I forget.

55
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,420
Can I reel I read?

56
00:04:21,820 --> 00:04:23,420
Oh, of course you can. Don't you
remember?

57
00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:25,820
They taught him to read in the army.

58
00:04:27,159 --> 00:04:28,900
I'd hope he's not late for the funeral.

59
00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:31,500
I don't think he will be.

60
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:34,080
I've never known how real I miss a good
do.

61
00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:38,540
Here you are, Freda.

62
00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:42,200
Fried cod, chip and mushy peat. But you
said you would take me out for dinner.

63
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,340
Well, you're out, aren't you? And
there's your dinner.

64
00:04:44,580 --> 00:04:45,580
Ow, that's hot!

65
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,460
Well, that bloody will save for you
tonight.

66
00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:54,080
For the third time tonight, that's not
the gear lever.

67
00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:55,420
Sorry.

68
00:04:56,620 --> 00:04:57,519
Here, Norm.

69
00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:58,520
Here, Eli.

70
00:04:58,740 --> 00:05:01,120
What? He says here that you're wanted.

71
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:02,880
Wanted? Who, me?

72
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:04,440
Not the police?

73
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,540
No, it's your sister, Nellie.

74
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,400
Nellie, Nora, that's even worse. Hey,
let's have a look.

75
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:14,360
Where? There, where the vinegar's soaked
through.

76
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,960
Why? Says I've got to get home as
quickly as possible.

77
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,880
He's had stuff in it. You'd better get
out, love.

78
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:24,000
All right, well, I mean, he'll have to
be there before he goes.

79
00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:26,600
Hey, sooner than that. Before he makes
his will out.

80
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,200
Never could spell my bloody name.

81
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:29,620
Go on, out you get.

82
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:30,699
All right.

83
00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:32,240
Go on. You can't just leave me here.

84
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,440
I haven't even got my bus fare.

85
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,200
Can't you give me anything?

86
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:39,360
Yeah. Check these. You might be able to
flog them back to the chippy.

87
00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:41,280
Oh! You!

88
00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:44,720
You're a fine one, aren't you? Don't you
leave me here.

89
00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:47,420
These are all the brutes.

90
00:05:48,270 --> 00:05:50,730
Each one will give you their own every
morning.

91
00:05:51,690 --> 00:05:52,690
What's in them?

92
00:05:53,050 --> 00:05:57,210
It's sugar and tea, you know, all mixed
up. And what do I have to do with them?

93
00:05:57,750 --> 00:06:02,050
Well, you put them in a teapot and pour
water on them. That's easy enough.

94
00:06:02,470 --> 00:06:04,170
No, not like that.

95
00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:05,429
Oh, no.

96
00:06:05,430 --> 00:06:10,050
You empty them in the teapot. Oh, well,
why didn't you say so?

97
00:06:10,410 --> 00:06:11,590
Well, I thought you'd have guessed.

98
00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:14,430
That water's got to be boiling and all.

99
00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:16,110
Oh, there's a lot to it, isn't there?

100
00:06:16,540 --> 00:06:18,120
Oh, I hope I remember it.

101
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,200
Oh, Benny Guevara.

102
00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:26,140
Helping you to get it all in, is he?

103
00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:29,160
Oh, he can't keep it up at this age,
though. That's his trouble.

104
00:06:29,460 --> 00:06:30,660
Oh, he knows how it's done.

105
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:34,320
I've seen the day when Bert's had 24
women under him on this factory floor.

106
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:35,860
I've had my ups and downs.

107
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:41,160
Scarlett O 'Hara.

108
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:44,340
What's that you've nearly got on? Eh? Is
it a frock?

109
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:45,660
Or a bigger laughter flap?

110
00:06:46,220 --> 00:06:48,320
Oh, it's my mini -mini -skirt, Miss
Nellie. Hmm.

111
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,660
Well, I wouldn't go out in that if I
were you.

112
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,760
You could very easily get chapped.

113
00:06:57,740 --> 00:06:59,080
Put your eyes back on your head, you.

114
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:00,420
Now, look what I've done.

115
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:02,660
You've made this unfit for human
combustion.

116
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,520
I'm the new tea lad.

117
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,440
They said I'd have to start at the
bottom.

118
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:07,479
Oh, yes.

119
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:11,520
What are you trying to do? Make us
bankrupt, kid? Well, it's only my second

120
00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:13,720
Yeah? Well, what were you in your last
job?

121
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,940
Don't you think you're being a bit
previous with that black armband?

122
00:07:36,820 --> 00:07:38,120
Hasn't he gone yet, then?

123
00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:40,740
He promised to me, you know.

124
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:47,500
I'm having neck end for my tea tonight.
I've not been able to chew it for years.

125
00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:51,520
Well, you'll just have to wait, won't
you? And stop wearing that flag at half

126
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,120
-mast. He might see you.

127
00:07:53,420 --> 00:07:54,420
What was it you wanted?

128
00:07:54,860 --> 00:07:58,260
Well, I'd like to talk to you about my
career at Pledgey Spittles.

129
00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,600
After.

130
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:01,240
After what?

131
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:02,680
After he snuffed it.

132
00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:06,680
Don't talk like that about him. That's
awful. I mean, he's still hot in his

133
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:07,940
not cold in his grave.

134
00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:10,660
He's not up there yet, you know, in a
great behind.

135
00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:14,700
So get that horse in that flaming
stable, will you? This is a yard you're

136
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,440
standing in, not a flaming rhubarb
batch.

137
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:18,800
Use me, Mary.

138
00:08:30,250 --> 00:08:31,590
So you managed to get back here, then?

139
00:08:33,510 --> 00:08:34,510
Yes.

140
00:08:35,090 --> 00:08:36,090
Hey,

141
00:08:36,830 --> 00:08:39,230
I'm not too late. He's not gone, has he?

142
00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:41,970
No, he's upstairs, if you want to catch
him.

143
00:08:42,270 --> 00:08:43,650
What are you wearing the black coat for?

144
00:08:43,970 --> 00:08:44,970
Are you rehearsing?

145
00:08:45,890 --> 00:08:48,250
So, after 15 years, it's back, eh?

146
00:08:48,510 --> 00:08:53,330
I was thinking of you the other day when
I went to see that picture, The Sound

147
00:08:53,330 --> 00:08:54,129
of Music.

148
00:08:54,130 --> 00:08:54,929
Oh, yes?

149
00:08:54,930 --> 00:08:56,290
Does that remind you of the hero?

150
00:08:56,750 --> 00:08:58,230
No, that song they sang.

151
00:08:58,880 --> 00:08:59,880
Idle swine.

152
00:09:01,260 --> 00:09:05,480
I'll sell this for you, Nellie. After 15
years, you've not changed, love.

153
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:06,759
Have I not?

154
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:07,860
You're still a bloody ugly.

155
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,340
You've changed.

156
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:12,519
Have I?

157
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,080
Who lifted it for you?

158
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:16,880
Macalpines?

159
00:09:17,580 --> 00:09:20,000
Well, did you get married or anything?

160
00:09:20,740 --> 00:09:21,900
Well, I didn't get married.

161
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,120
I don't know about anything.

162
00:09:25,340 --> 00:09:27,480
What are you going to tell your wife
when you do get married?

163
00:09:28,030 --> 00:09:29,930
I mean, all these women.

164
00:09:30,350 --> 00:09:31,990
Your wife will want to know where you've
been.

165
00:09:32,410 --> 00:09:34,770
I mean, I'd want to know where my
fella's been.

166
00:09:35,550 --> 00:09:36,970
God knows where you've been.

167
00:09:37,570 --> 00:09:39,990
I'm your sister and even I don't know
where you've been.

168
00:09:41,690 --> 00:09:42,830
Where have you been?

169
00:09:43,190 --> 00:09:44,190
Oh,

170
00:09:44,270 --> 00:09:45,270
here and there.

171
00:09:46,450 --> 00:09:47,450
Mostly there.

172
00:09:48,070 --> 00:09:49,070
How about you?

173
00:09:49,670 --> 00:09:51,830
Me? Isn't it oblivious?

174
00:09:52,670 --> 00:09:56,910
I've been stood standing at that factory
pickling all day while he's been lay

175
00:09:56,910 --> 00:09:58,510
lying up there, Dying.

176
00:09:58,710 --> 00:10:00,770
I don't mean that, you daft old ratbag.

177
00:10:01,650 --> 00:10:03,610
I mean, did you never get wet?

178
00:10:04,130 --> 00:10:08,510
No, I didn't want... Well, I wanted,
but... What about that horse snacker you

179
00:10:08,510 --> 00:10:09,510
were going out with?

180
00:10:10,090 --> 00:10:11,090
Horse snacker?

181
00:10:11,430 --> 00:10:14,270
That man was a veterinary surgeon.

182
00:10:15,530 --> 00:10:17,150
That man had healing hands.

183
00:10:18,130 --> 00:10:20,230
He taught me a thing or two. Oh, did he?

184
00:10:20,730 --> 00:10:24,550
And how about that lay preacher that was
sniffing around?

185
00:10:25,050 --> 00:10:26,050
Sniffing around?

186
00:10:26,570 --> 00:10:29,490
You should wash your mouth out when you
intone that man's memory.

187
00:10:30,050 --> 00:10:33,490
That man went as a missionary to darkest
Niagara.

188
00:10:35,910 --> 00:10:37,950
He must have put the bloody wind up,
then.

189
00:10:38,290 --> 00:10:39,630
I shall inhale that remark.

190
00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:43,970
Now, listen. Have you come here to
insult me or have you come home to see

191
00:10:43,970 --> 00:10:45,250
dad? Which or both?

192
00:10:45,570 --> 00:10:46,570
I'm going up now.

193
00:10:46,810 --> 00:10:48,970
He could have snuffed it while you were
nattering on down here.

194
00:10:49,210 --> 00:10:52,230
Don't. He certainly hasn't, you big
-bellied bluer's boil.

195
00:10:53,150 --> 00:10:54,590
Oh, look, it's tempered.

196
00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:57,420
Must get a little hand put on this
watch.

197
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,480
It's the anointed hour.

198
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:03,920
You are?

199
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,400
It's the only pleasure he has these
days.

200
00:11:20,140 --> 00:11:21,140
Dad?

201
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:24,280
Dad?

202
00:11:26,910 --> 00:11:27,729
It's me.

203
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,130
Who the hell is Mr. Me?

204
00:11:30,150 --> 00:11:31,250
Don't you recognise me?

205
00:11:32,390 --> 00:11:33,630
Are you a new window cleaner?

206
00:11:33,990 --> 00:11:37,010
How am I ever like the new window
cleaner? It's me, Eli.

207
00:11:37,750 --> 00:11:41,390
There's younger than thee. I was younger
than me when I left. I tell you, it's

208
00:11:41,390 --> 00:11:45,330
Eli. How do I know you're Eli? You might
have come to steal the secret of me

209
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:49,190
gherkins. You're a great galloping clog
-eye. I don't want to get my hands on

210
00:11:49,190 --> 00:11:50,190
your gherkin.

211
00:11:52,660 --> 00:11:53,660
Eli!

212
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,500
Eli, you've come back!

213
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,740
You've not excited him, are you?

214
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:02,900
Excited him? If he goes on like that
much longer, I'll be in there with him.

215
00:12:03,020 --> 00:12:04,320
He's come back, Nellie.

216
00:12:04,980 --> 00:12:05,980
Our Eli.

217
00:12:07,380 --> 00:12:08,440
Now see what you've done.

218
00:12:08,780 --> 00:12:09,780
He's had a prolapse.

219
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:11,440
Better have a pill.

220
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:13,660
Is he on the pill? I don't want a pill.

221
00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:15,180
You know what Dr. Albright said?

222
00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:17,140
You've got to have it three times a day.

223
00:12:17,550 --> 00:12:21,070
No wonder it's bloody flagging. Come on,
swallow it. I can't, I'm too dry.

224
00:12:21,430 --> 00:12:24,750
It doesn't say anything about dissolving
it in a pint of bitter. Come on,

225
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:25,810
swallow it.

226
00:12:29,230 --> 00:12:30,970
There you are. I told you.

227
00:12:32,090 --> 00:12:34,830
You awkward flamer. Let him suck it.

228
00:12:35,270 --> 00:12:36,229
Suck it?

229
00:12:36,230 --> 00:12:40,550
That pill is the product of years of
research by desiccated scientists.

230
00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:42,590
Not a flaming mint imperial.

231
00:12:42,910 --> 00:12:45,390
He can swallow it. He can't. He hasn't
got enough spit.

232
00:12:46,070 --> 00:12:47,170
I'll get him a glass of water.

233
00:12:55,050 --> 00:12:56,050
Yes.

234
00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:01,610
See? That wasn't difficult, was it? Not
at all.

235
00:13:03,410 --> 00:13:04,410
Come on.

236
00:13:05,810 --> 00:13:07,950
Just a minute. I wonder where are the
both of you?

237
00:13:08,250 --> 00:13:11,510
Oh, well, we haven't got time, you know,
to be sat sitting around here, you

238
00:13:11,510 --> 00:13:13,770
know. We've got things to do, you know.
There's arrangements.

239
00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:15,510
to be made. What for?

240
00:13:15,930 --> 00:13:18,450
Well, for... after.

241
00:13:18,850 --> 00:13:19,850
After what?

242
00:13:19,890 --> 00:13:20,910
After you've gone, Dad.

243
00:13:21,210 --> 00:13:22,210
Oh.

244
00:13:22,790 --> 00:13:24,350
Are you having to do it spread eagle?

245
00:13:24,590 --> 00:13:29,310
No, I thought the brown cow was nicer,
really. I mean, besides, it's been all

246
00:13:29,310 --> 00:13:30,310
modernised.

247
00:13:30,790 --> 00:13:32,530
I don't like Dale at brown cow.

248
00:13:33,630 --> 00:13:35,950
Well, you won't be there, will you?

249
00:13:36,230 --> 00:13:38,050
Hey, I've just had a thought.

250
00:13:38,890 --> 00:13:40,830
Why don't we have to before he goes?

251
00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:42,670
Then he can come with us.

252
00:13:43,050 --> 00:13:44,050
That's a good idea.

253
00:13:44,430 --> 00:13:45,670
Oh, no, it wouldn't be right.

254
00:13:45,890 --> 00:13:49,510
I mean, we couldn't say what a good send
-off we'd given you with you sat

255
00:13:49,510 --> 00:13:51,510
sitting there supping brown ale.

256
00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:53,470
What have you done about me headstone?

257
00:13:53,850 --> 00:13:55,190
Oh, oh, that'll be lovely.

258
00:13:55,510 --> 00:14:00,550
It says, um, tired he was and did not
show it.

259
00:14:00,910 --> 00:14:03,910
Ill he was and did not know it.

260
00:14:04,250 --> 00:14:06,310
He looked down and thought it best.

261
00:14:06,710 --> 00:14:08,810
To put him back in the old oak chest.

262
00:14:09,410 --> 00:14:10,410
Oh, shut up, you.

263
00:14:10,510 --> 00:14:12,310
I'm looking forward to seeing that.

264
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:16,520
And before I go, I want to make a last
wish.

265
00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:19,400
You won't have me to look after much
longer.

266
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:24,700
And when I've gone to meet the great
pickler in the sky, I want you to find

267
00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:26,620
yourself the right fellow who'll marry
you.

268
00:14:27,020 --> 00:14:30,020
And you can spend the rest of your days
pickling together.

269
00:14:30,820 --> 00:14:32,520
You promise me that, won't you?

270
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:38,040
Well, there's not many picklers about,
but I promise.

271
00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:41,320
Dad? Yes, Frank?

272
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:44,840
Frank?

273
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,560
I'm glad you've gone back, Frank.

274
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,320
Frank?

275
00:14:50,060 --> 00:14:51,180
He has gone, hasn't he?

276
00:15:41,610 --> 00:15:43,330
There's room for us two in there, you
know.

277
00:15:43,790 --> 00:15:44,790
Are you coming in?

278
00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:47,330
I'm not going down there.

279
00:15:48,250 --> 00:15:50,790
When I die, I'm donating my body to
medical science.

280
00:15:51,410 --> 00:15:53,150
Oh, that's very nice, isn't it?

281
00:15:53,450 --> 00:15:57,830
And what about on the day of
adjudication, when Gabriel sounds his

282
00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,290
Where will you be?

283
00:15:59,530 --> 00:16:00,530
Eh?

284
00:16:00,730 --> 00:16:03,150
Scattered all over the infirmary in jam
jars.

285
00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:06,070
You'll be better off in there with us.

286
00:16:07,650 --> 00:16:08,790
Hello. Here they are.

287
00:16:09,150 --> 00:16:10,150
Burke and Eyre.

288
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:11,890
Oh, you got here last hour, Lily.

289
00:16:12,730 --> 00:16:14,070
Well, he just missed him.

290
00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:16,230
Oh, has he been?

291
00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:19,390
I think he's been.

292
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:22,370
It took him a right long time to find
it.

293
00:16:22,650 --> 00:16:23,650
I'll bet it did.

294
00:16:24,010 --> 00:16:28,070
I suppose you'd like to throw some soil
at him, would you, Walter?

295
00:16:30,310 --> 00:16:31,390
All right, then.

296
00:16:38,020 --> 00:16:39,980
Not me, cloghead. Him!

297
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,640
He's been right looking forward to
coming here today.

298
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:45,100
Yeah, well, it'll be a nice day out for
him, won't it?

299
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,720
By the look of him, it's hardly
worthwhile him going home.

300
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,360
You'll not forget about that overcoat,
will you, Nellie?

301
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:53,680
What overcoat?

302
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:54,800
You know, Eve.

303
00:16:54,860 --> 00:16:58,160
You said that after the funeral that
Nero would come in for our Walter.

304
00:16:58,540 --> 00:16:59,540
Oh, yes.

305
00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:02,580
Well, he'll be on his way up there now,
won't he?

306
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,260
I mean, better collect it when we get
home.

307
00:17:06,379 --> 00:17:08,560
Because he should be there by then.

308
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,819
Oh, no, love. Not so soon after.

309
00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:12,140
Wouldn't be proper.

310
00:17:12,339 --> 00:17:14,160
No. I'll call for it tomorrow.

311
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:15,700
Yes.

312
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,420
Well, he's gone now.

313
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:19,720
Aye. Aye.

314
00:17:19,940 --> 00:17:21,060
We'll not see him again.

315
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,740
No. No.

316
00:17:23,660 --> 00:17:24,839
He's with me mother now.

317
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,400
That'll bloody teach him.

318
00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:29,120
Aye, that will.

319
00:17:30,140 --> 00:17:31,140
Bloody...

320
00:17:35,590 --> 00:17:36,569
Hey, look at the time.

321
00:17:36,570 --> 00:17:38,190
Not hanging about here with you lot, you
know.

322
00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:40,190
I want to get on but for the reason of
the will.

323
00:17:41,330 --> 00:17:42,570
That's just like you, isn't it?

324
00:17:42,850 --> 00:17:44,570
Never happy unless you've got your hand
on it.

325
00:17:44,870 --> 00:17:45,870
Wait for me.

326
00:17:47,090 --> 00:17:50,490
And you lot, you've had your dinner,
have you? Get back and get pickling.

327
00:17:52,970 --> 00:17:53,970
Dad,

328
00:17:54,750 --> 00:17:56,790
I don't know how you could treat me so
flatulent.

329
00:17:57,650 --> 00:18:00,430
Leaving half the factory to him as he's
been away 15 years.

330
00:18:01,130 --> 00:18:03,930
When I've demoted the best years of my
life looking after you.

331
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:07,620
I don't want half share in a pickle
factory that pongs from here to

332
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:08,880
I'd sooner sell up and get out.

333
00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:10,800
But he did set up a trust fund.

334
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,200
£20 ,000.

335
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:14,960
Mind you, I'm not surprised the way he
lived.

336
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:18,620
Look, the will says we've got to keep
the factory going for five years. We

337
00:18:18,620 --> 00:18:19,620
sell it till then.

338
00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:23,380
I'll sink worse than vinegar beer. Well,
don't think I'm happy to run the

339
00:18:23,380 --> 00:18:26,120
factory with a cunning, conniving
codologist like you.

340
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:27,980
I don't know what you two are moaning
about.

341
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:29,300
He left us note.

342
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:30,680
Hello, Lily.

343
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:34,250
I mean, after all, you're only my second
cousin. I mean, what do you expect?

344
00:18:34,710 --> 00:18:35,710
Come on, Walter.

345
00:18:37,030 --> 00:18:38,370
What about that overcoat?

346
00:18:38,830 --> 00:18:41,710
Well, it's hanging in the hall. Anthony,
you'd better go and get it yourself.

347
00:18:41,790 --> 00:18:42,790
Walter, eh?

348
00:18:44,470 --> 00:18:47,090
Is he still a blood donor?

349
00:18:47,410 --> 00:18:48,249
Now and again.

350
00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:49,670
It's about time he asked for some back.

351
00:18:51,610 --> 00:18:53,670
Oh, the window to watch.

352
00:18:54,690 --> 00:18:56,270
We're not stopping here to be insulted.

353
00:18:56,530 --> 00:18:57,530
Come on, Walter.

354
00:19:00,910 --> 00:19:01,910
Oh, I don't know.

355
00:19:02,690 --> 00:19:03,509
Answer me.

356
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,330
Stuck back here after 15 years.

357
00:19:06,570 --> 00:19:07,570
Hey.

358
00:19:08,330 --> 00:19:09,590
Have you still got this?

359
00:19:09,930 --> 00:19:12,870
Oh, you mean the boy with one of his
cherries missing?

360
00:19:13,290 --> 00:19:15,590
I remember me dad winning that at
Blackpool Pleasure Beach.

361
00:19:15,930 --> 00:19:19,070
He aimed at the target, missed it, the
boy and not one of his cherries, though.

362
00:19:20,270 --> 00:19:22,610
Well, he won't be going to Blackpool
this week.

363
00:19:23,650 --> 00:19:25,670
I'd booked the room for both of us, you
know.

364
00:19:26,370 --> 00:19:27,370
For next week.

365
00:19:28,070 --> 00:19:29,970
Pity you couldn't have hung on a bit,
Dad.

366
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:33,980
Oh. That means there'll be a free seat
on Sharra. Of course, I'm used to the

367
00:19:33,980 --> 00:19:35,020
cost of Del Sol, you know.

368
00:19:35,460 --> 00:19:37,320
But I suppose Blackpool will cost me
note.

369
00:19:38,180 --> 00:19:39,700
That's you all over, isn't it, eh?

370
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:41,560
Jumping on a dead man's seat.

371
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,460
Ah, well, now that I'm back and running
things, there's going to be a few

372
00:19:45,460 --> 00:19:46,460
changes made.

373
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,000
You won't be running it.

374
00:19:48,540 --> 00:19:50,160
We both be running it.

375
00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:55,760
There won't be no changes made either.
We're going to go on pickling the same

376
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,620
pledges have pickled on this sod since
time immoral.

377
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:01,090
Nellie. I'm only thinking about you.

378
00:20:01,570 --> 00:20:06,010
I mean, after 15 years, you must be a
bit knackered.

379
00:20:06,270 --> 00:20:08,830
I am neither knackered, knockered or
knickered.

380
00:20:09,430 --> 00:20:13,090
And any changes made here will be made
over my dog's body.

381
00:20:22,670 --> 00:20:27,850
I told you.

382
00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:29,630
I told you, this is the place.

383
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:31,850
Come on, Ben, come on.

384
00:20:34,990 --> 00:20:36,470
Mrs. Snowbottom?

385
00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:38,650
Rowbottom. Beg your pardon?

386
00:20:39,330 --> 00:20:41,510
Pledges? Yes, piquant and pure.

387
00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:43,270
Would you come this way, please?

388
00:20:52,630 --> 00:20:56,010
Harold's Bells Valley, I'm not stopping
here. We were nearer the sea before we

389
00:20:56,010 --> 00:20:57,010
got on the train.

390
00:20:57,020 --> 00:20:58,920
Just think yourself lucky to be here in
the first place.

391
00:20:59,180 --> 00:21:02,560
I mean, you wouldn't be getting a
holiday at all, I mean, if it wasn't for

392
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:05,600
generosity. Oh, no, you're paid for it.
At least you're going to let us have a

393
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:06,600
taxi from the state, then.

394
00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:07,920
Keep calm, keep calm.

395
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,600
Money is the root of all evil.

396
00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:12,000
We're in Blackpool now.

397
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:18,880
Why don't you take a walk along the
promenade into God's green air and see

398
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:23,360
seagulls fluttering and fluttering and
dropping their little messages?

399
00:21:24,060 --> 00:21:25,520
I mean, it's very difficult.

400
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,920
for a rich man to get a camel through
the eye of a needle.

401
00:21:29,220 --> 00:21:33,600
But the poor man is always welcome in
the kingdom of heaven.

402
00:21:34,020 --> 00:21:35,700
Is that where we're bloody well going
now?

403
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:48,080
There you are, number four.

404
00:21:50,540 --> 00:21:53,960
Oh, this is right, this is...

405
00:21:54,419 --> 00:21:55,580
Reminds me of Buckingham Palace.

406
00:21:56,060 --> 00:21:57,660
Queen didn't have a room like this.

407
00:21:57,920 --> 00:21:59,280
No, but the censor just stood outside.

408
00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:06,120
Where's my room?

409
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:07,399
What do you mean?

410
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:08,400
You're both in there?

411
00:22:08,860 --> 00:22:09,860
You are?

412
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:11,040
In one bed?

413
00:22:11,340 --> 00:22:13,500
I'm not there lying in bed with him.

414
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:15,500
Touching. Why not?

415
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:18,320
It's not polite.

416
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:20,820
Here. How long have you two been
married?

417
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:22,480
Married?

418
00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:24,100
We're not married.

419
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:25,320
You're not married?

420
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,460
Well, you're not staying under my roof.

421
00:22:27,660 --> 00:22:28,680
This isn't my joker.

422
00:22:29,260 --> 00:22:32,320
No, I mean, you see, we're not man and
his wife.

423
00:22:32,740 --> 00:22:37,500
We're man and his sister, you see. What?
His dad was my dad, and my dad was his

424
00:22:37,500 --> 00:22:39,100
dad, and so was my mother, too.

425
00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:40,360
What?

426
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:45,100
Well, can't you see the family likeness?

427
00:22:46,120 --> 00:22:48,800
You see, she was born when me dad was on
short time.

428
00:22:49,060 --> 00:22:50,060
Oh.

429
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,000
So you're not married, then? No. Oh.

430
00:22:52,570 --> 00:22:53,610
I'm a young widow myself.

431
00:22:54,530 --> 00:22:55,730
Road to Rowbottom.

432
00:22:57,110 --> 00:23:01,230
Mr. Pledge, I've got just the room for
you.

433
00:23:01,430 --> 00:23:02,430
Have you? Yes.

434
00:23:04,250 --> 00:23:05,550
You'll be all right back there.

435
00:23:05,810 --> 00:23:06,810
Oh, will I?

436
00:23:07,030 --> 00:23:08,570
Thank you very glad, I'm sure.

437
00:23:09,290 --> 00:23:10,390
Pardon me for breathing.

438
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:21,880
I'm sure you'll be very comfortable in
this bed. Will I?

439
00:23:22,380 --> 00:23:25,160
It's interior sprung. You know, it
gives.

440
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:27,420
Hardly makes a sound.

441
00:23:28,380 --> 00:23:30,300
Why don't you come over here and try it?

442
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:33,900
Come on, try it.

443
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:35,560
There we are.

444
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:36,980
Come on, try harder.

445
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:38,540
You won't hurt it.

446
00:23:39,340 --> 00:23:40,400
Do you like it?

447
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,220
Oh, I love it. I think I'm going to have
a good night tonight.

448
00:23:44,140 --> 00:23:45,740
I'd better be going.

449
00:23:45,980 --> 00:23:46,699
Oh, must you?

450
00:23:46,700 --> 00:23:47,780
Yeah, I'll see you later.

451
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:49,080
Right.

452
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,160
What the hell are you playing at?

453
00:23:53,380 --> 00:23:55,100
I've been having a bounce on the bed
with the landlady.

454
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,860
You'll get bounced up and down if you
don't behave yourself this holiday.

455
00:23:58,380 --> 00:24:00,780
Oh, I've got a fat chance of having a
good holiday, haven't I? I've got

456
00:24:00,780 --> 00:24:01,780
50 pence left.

457
00:24:02,340 --> 00:24:07,080
So after 15 years away, your pockets are
not exactly lined with gold, only

458
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:08,080
cigarette ends.

459
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,640
Ah, well, you see, I've been labouring
under a very heavy burden.

460
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,260
Yes. Oh, coming home from the pub.

461
00:24:14,780 --> 00:24:18,620
If I'd been boozing, it's because I'd
been boozing to forget.

462
00:24:19,340 --> 00:24:20,340
To forget what?

463
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:22,360
I don't remember.

464
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:27,080
Oh, shut up, will you? Now, this
holiday, I thought I'd do what my mamma

465
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,400
do, you know. What's that? Put the money
in separate envelopes, you see.

466
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:35,140
Like, uh, so much for presents, so much
for slot machines, so much for pots of

467
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:41,460
tea, so much for deck chairs, and so
much for the landlady for the lodgings

468
00:24:41,460 --> 00:24:42,439
the end of the week.

469
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:43,440
And Nellie?

470
00:24:43,660 --> 00:24:45,740
And so much spending money for Aurelia.

471
00:24:45,940 --> 00:24:47,520
Oh, town Nellie. How much?

472
00:24:47,740 --> 00:24:48,459
Two hundred.

473
00:24:48,460 --> 00:24:49,880
Pounds? Pounds.

474
00:24:51,660 --> 00:24:54,740
Two quid? That won't go far with a
Blackpool jet set.

475
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,280
You think yourself lucky. I'm only
lending you that, you know.

476
00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,300
Glad you've got a better room than I've
got.

477
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,900
Hang about.

478
00:25:04,380 --> 00:25:05,380
That one's mine.

479
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,340
Oh, that's mine.

480
00:25:10,980 --> 00:25:11,980
Hey, Nellie.

481
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,260
You've forgotten the... This is your
flaming case.

482
00:25:16,900 --> 00:25:19,000
I was going to tell you you've forgotten
the housekeeping money.

483
00:25:22,010 --> 00:25:25,390
Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty
-five.

484
00:25:26,130 --> 00:25:28,910
Hmm, I think I'd better keep it safe in
my pocket.

485
00:25:29,430 --> 00:25:31,190
Yes, it'll be much safer there.

486
00:25:31,390 --> 00:25:34,050
Oh, look out, Crumpet. Here I come.

487
00:25:34,890 --> 00:25:35,890
Dear Dad.

488
00:25:36,390 --> 00:25:39,190
Oh, hell, Nellie, what are you thinking
about? You are a fool.

489
00:25:40,670 --> 00:25:42,850
Dear Aunt Bertha.

490
00:25:44,870 --> 00:25:45,990
Off out, are you?

491
00:25:46,610 --> 00:25:47,770
Who, me?

492
00:25:48,490 --> 00:25:50,710
Is that money burning a hole in your
pocket?

493
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,780
That money you gave me won't buy no
other string vest.

494
00:25:54,160 --> 00:26:00,260
Oh, isn't it nice to get away from
ponging picklers and mithering

495
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:06,600
And it'll be nice to make new friends
and see new faces.

496
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:10,640
What, like these two, you mean?

497
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:13,200
Oh, no.

498
00:26:14,300 --> 00:26:19,920
Well, if it's not our Eli and Owen, are
they? Oh, what in hell in carnation are

499
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:20,920
you two doing here?

500
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,040
Well, we're here on our second
honeymoon.

501
00:26:23,460 --> 00:26:28,080
We're going to try to, well, you know,
recapture the moment.

502
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:29,760
Are you, Walter?

503
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:32,440
Are you going to try to recapture it?

504
00:26:34,020 --> 00:26:36,820
Do you think he'll remember it?

505
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:38,720
Come on, lover.

506
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,120
We're off to the beach.

507
00:26:40,740 --> 00:26:42,000
May I leave the room now, please?

508
00:26:42,260 --> 00:26:43,260
Oh, shut up.

509
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:45,220
Mind you don't spend too much money.

510
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:46,440
Thank you, anybody.

511
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,340
The shit shall be manly, Paris.

512
00:27:08,300 --> 00:27:09,420
All right, sir. Thank you.

513
00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:10,900
Oh, look at that.

514
00:27:52,270 --> 00:27:53,270
I'll see you.

515
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:44,560
Here we go.

516
00:28:48,420 --> 00:28:49,420
Eli!

517
00:28:51,860 --> 00:28:54,120
Freda! Fancy me knocking you out of bed?

518
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:55,860
Well, that's show business, isn't it?

519
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:03,880
Hey,

520
00:29:06,820 --> 00:29:09,480
two more of the same with all the fruit
salad.

521
00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:12,420
Oh, another one of them and I'll take
off.

522
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,080
You must have really got something out
of that world, the way you're spreading

523
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:19,080
out tonight.

524
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,200
I think my pocket's sprung a leak.

525
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:26,320
Oh, Eli.

526
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,920
Be careful, love. That's a tender spot.

527
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,600
Some of the blokes on the sideshows
aren't very good with their balls.

528
00:29:33,740 --> 00:29:35,800
I'm fed up with going in and out on that
bed.

529
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:38,340
I'd do anything to get a different sort
of job.

530
00:29:40,060 --> 00:29:41,380
Anything? Anything.

531
00:29:41,820 --> 00:29:42,820
Anything at all.

532
00:29:43,950 --> 00:29:45,970
How good are you at taking things down?

533
00:29:46,630 --> 00:29:48,210
What do you mean?

534
00:29:48,810 --> 00:29:49,749
Cheeky.

535
00:29:49,750 --> 00:29:51,310
I mean like short -hand.

536
00:29:52,010 --> 00:29:53,910
Well, I suppose I could learn.

537
00:29:54,830 --> 00:29:58,670
Why? Well, I'll tell you. When I get
home, you see, I'm going to make pledges

538
00:29:58,670 --> 00:29:59,670
pickles up to date.

539
00:29:59,890 --> 00:30:01,410
Yes, I'm going to get myself a
secretary.

540
00:30:02,250 --> 00:30:03,430
Thinking of giving some interviews.

541
00:30:05,250 --> 00:30:06,250
Go on, then.

542
00:30:06,790 --> 00:30:07,790
Interview me.

543
00:30:09,410 --> 00:30:10,410
Go on.

544
00:30:11,590 --> 00:30:12,670
Ask me a question.

545
00:30:13,730 --> 00:30:14,730
When can you start?

546
00:30:15,410 --> 00:30:16,970
As soon as you get back home.

547
00:30:19,230 --> 00:30:21,030
Oh, look at this, my friend, maybe.

548
00:30:21,230 --> 00:30:22,450
You know, the sword swallower.

549
00:30:22,670 --> 00:30:23,670
She looks out of touch.

550
00:30:24,270 --> 00:30:26,410
Listen, I won't be long. I'm just going
to have a word with her. All right.

551
00:30:27,050 --> 00:30:28,050
Where am I?

552
00:30:28,550 --> 00:30:29,830
Why do you need a secretary?

553
00:30:30,650 --> 00:30:33,130
I thought you were trying to get your
half out of it without having to work.

554
00:30:33,490 --> 00:30:36,510
I've got to find some mug that will
marry Anne Alley. I've got to fix that

555
00:30:36,510 --> 00:30:37,510
first.

556
00:30:43,820 --> 00:30:44,820
The last one.

557
00:30:46,580 --> 00:30:53,080
Oh, bloody hell, there's that man up
there in a small piece.

558
00:30:57,540 --> 00:30:58,540
Well, well.

559
00:31:04,420 --> 00:31:06,720
If it isn't Ben in a small piece.
Remember me?

560
00:31:07,340 --> 00:31:09,820
Well, I'd go to our house if it didn't
feel like lunch.

561
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:11,260
I haven't seen you for years.

562
00:31:11,850 --> 00:31:16,090
Not since that pickling contest at
Bellevue, when me dad won first prize

563
00:31:16,090 --> 00:31:17,310
showing his champion gherkin.

564
00:31:17,570 --> 00:31:21,990
Hey, are you still in the pickling
business in Holden? I am, that lad.

565
00:31:22,490 --> 00:31:24,850
Well, it is nice to see you again,
Vernon.

566
00:31:25,210 --> 00:31:26,210
Come and have a drink.

567
00:31:30,930 --> 00:31:33,530
On holiday with the wife, are you,
Vernon?

568
00:31:33,730 --> 00:31:34,529
No, not me.

569
00:31:34,530 --> 00:31:35,530
I never got married.

570
00:31:36,290 --> 00:31:38,410
Oh, I'll be back to that.

571
00:31:39,130 --> 00:31:41,730
No, uh, well, what about that drink,
then, Eli?

572
00:31:41,930 --> 00:31:43,190
Oh, there you are, then.

573
00:31:43,930 --> 00:31:47,110
Oh, I never had any time of patience for
mucking about with women.

574
00:31:47,550 --> 00:31:50,630
But I must say, at times, it does get a
bit lonely.

575
00:31:57,250 --> 00:31:58,570
No wonder you're bloody lonely.

576
00:31:59,050 --> 00:32:02,330
Yeah, I suppose it's your time of life.
You must miss the little woman round the

577
00:32:02,330 --> 00:32:06,450
house. Somebody to... to the cooking for
you. Warm the slippers in front of the

578
00:32:06,450 --> 00:32:10,950
fire. Well, to tell you the truth, Eli,
for some reason, women don't seem to

579
00:32:10,950 --> 00:32:11,950
find me attractive.

580
00:32:13,750 --> 00:32:14,750
I'm not surprised.

581
00:32:16,490 --> 00:32:17,730
Really, that's true.

582
00:32:19,130 --> 00:32:20,970
I'm here on holiday with my sister, you
know.

583
00:32:21,190 --> 00:32:22,570
Oh, I didn't know you had a sister.

584
00:32:23,610 --> 00:32:24,670
She's not married either.

585
00:32:25,950 --> 00:32:27,650
Partner's in the same pickling business
we are.

586
00:32:28,010 --> 00:32:32,610
Oh, owns half the firm, does she? And
not married, you say?

587
00:32:32,970 --> 00:32:33,970
No.

588
00:32:35,050 --> 00:32:36,050
Hey.

589
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:38,100
Would you like to meet Nellie?

590
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:39,480
Aye, I would.

591
00:32:40,420 --> 00:32:41,420
What's she like?

592
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:43,060
Well, now, how can I put it?

593
00:32:43,820 --> 00:32:46,160
She's got all that Brackle Welsh has
got, you know.

594
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,320
But it's just put together a bit
different.

595
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:52,320
Aye, but I'm a bit backward at coming
forward with women, you know. Nellie's

596
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:54,140
same. A bit shy and retiring.

597
00:32:54,700 --> 00:32:55,740
I'll tell you what I'll do.

598
00:32:56,180 --> 00:32:57,920
I'll arrange for you to meet her
tomorrow.

599
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:00,980
Sort of accidental -like.

600
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:02,640
Right, Eli.

601
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:03,800
You're on.

602
00:33:04,540 --> 00:33:05,780
Have another drink, Bernard.

603
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:07,640
Ah, that's better.

604
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:14,600
It's all right.

605
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:17,379
Hey, there.

606
00:33:17,380 --> 00:33:18,219
Oh, you're there.

607
00:33:18,220 --> 00:33:19,219
Hey up, Eli.

608
00:33:19,220 --> 00:33:21,960
I think I've gotten frostbite. I've lost
all my feeling.

609
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:23,580
Oh, you'll be all right. Come on.

610
00:33:24,020 --> 00:33:25,620
I'll give you a rub down with an oily
rag.

611
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:27,120
Whoa.

612
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:30,500
You'll be all right when I never get to
you. She'll warm you up.

613
00:33:30,700 --> 00:33:32,060
When is she? Is she coming?

614
00:33:32,300 --> 00:33:33,300
She'll be along in a minute.

615
00:33:33,340 --> 00:33:34,980
So long. I'm that worried, Eli.

616
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:36,520
Winter comes.

617
00:33:36,590 --> 00:33:38,510
I'm not sure I'll be able to get it out.

618
00:33:40,830 --> 00:33:41,830
Get what out?

619
00:33:41,890 --> 00:33:44,530
What you told me to say about asking her
for a date.

620
00:33:45,490 --> 00:33:47,870
Hey, Bernard, you don't want me to ask
her for you, do you?

621
00:33:48,270 --> 00:33:49,270
Would you?

622
00:33:49,370 --> 00:33:51,350
Oh, come on, Bernard, there's no to it.

623
00:33:51,590 --> 00:33:53,290
I'll tell you what, try asking me.

624
00:33:54,010 --> 00:33:55,530
But I don't want a date with you.

625
00:33:56,590 --> 00:34:00,330
Look, pretend that I'm our Nellie and
you're, well, you're you.

626
00:34:00,610 --> 00:34:02,010
Now, what do you say?

627
00:34:02,790 --> 00:34:03,790
I'll do, Nellie.

628
00:34:04,490 --> 00:34:06,850
By the cranes, what a smooth -lining
batter.

629
00:34:07,230 --> 00:34:09,409
There's an old girl safe round here from
you.

630
00:34:09,889 --> 00:34:12,969
Look, Vernon, sat next to her, eh?

631
00:34:13,469 --> 00:34:16,870
Let your hand slide gently towards hers.

632
00:34:17,469 --> 00:34:19,969
You caress her fingers with yours.

633
00:34:23,909 --> 00:34:24,909
Morning, Vicar.

634
00:34:26,730 --> 00:34:29,070
You gaze tenderly into her eyes.

635
00:34:29,909 --> 00:34:33,469
Vernon, gaze tenderly into my eyes, you
bloody great clot!

636
00:34:34,199 --> 00:34:35,440
I feel so bloody daft.

637
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:38,480
There's no to it. You'll get into it.
The scene is set.

638
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:40,000
You're there.

639
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,179
You're caressing her hand with your
fingers.

640
00:34:42,380 --> 00:34:44,520
You're gazing tenderly into her eyes.

641
00:34:44,940 --> 00:34:48,460
You've told our Nellie what a fragrant
flower she is.

642
00:34:50,900 --> 00:34:52,239
She's all yours, Vernon.

643
00:34:52,500 --> 00:34:55,400
She's mesmerised by your smooth line of
talk.

644
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,680
Vernon, what do you say?

645
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:01,280
Grand weather for time of year?

646
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:02,700
Oh, bloody Nora.

647
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:06,320
I'll have to leave you now.

648
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:08,120
Our Nellie's coming along the prom.

649
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:10,720
Is this her, then?

650
00:35:11,340 --> 00:35:13,360
Well... Not exactly.

651
00:35:14,180 --> 00:35:15,600
What do you mean, not exactly?

652
00:35:16,420 --> 00:35:19,240
Well, when I mean not exactly, I mean
definitely.

653
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:21,160
Is your Nellie out like her, then?

654
00:35:21,420 --> 00:35:22,420
Not really.

655
00:35:23,240 --> 00:35:24,240
She's more like that.

656
00:35:24,720 --> 00:35:25,860
Well, the bloody hell's that.

657
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:27,560
That's our Nellie.

658
00:35:28,700 --> 00:35:29,700
Come and meet her.

659
00:35:30,660 --> 00:35:33,740
Ah, Nellie. I'd like you to meet a fella
of mine I've just bumped into

660
00:35:33,740 --> 00:35:34,740
accidentally. Oh.

661
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,900
Er, Vernon Smallpeace, our Nellie. Oh,
how do you do? You haven't had the

662
00:35:38,900 --> 00:35:40,800
pleasure of me yet, have you, Mr
Smallfry?

663
00:35:41,860 --> 00:35:42,940
Smallpeace? Yes, peace.

664
00:35:43,180 --> 00:35:45,880
Yeah, Vernon was just asking me to go
out and have a drink with him, weren't

665
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:46,960
you? What, that? Oh.

666
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:50,460
Ah, yes. And he'd like you to come along
before you go back to the digs. Oh,

667
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:53,520
thank you, very glad. I'd be mortified
at the pleasure, Mr Godpeace.

668
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:58,400
Smallpeace. Yes, please. Now, come on.
There you go. Where do we go?

669
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:03,480
Very good, eh?

670
00:36:04,270 --> 00:36:05,630
Get some good turns here, you know.

671
00:36:05,850 --> 00:36:09,090
Yes. Do you do a turn, Mr Little Bit?

672
00:36:09,550 --> 00:36:10,550
Small piece.

673
00:36:10,910 --> 00:36:11,910
Oh, is he?

674
00:36:12,410 --> 00:36:13,450
Well, I've done a bit.

675
00:36:13,670 --> 00:36:14,670
A bit.

676
00:36:14,890 --> 00:36:19,170
Don't be so modest, Vernon. This lad
here did the Maid of the Mountains twice

677
00:36:19,170 --> 00:36:21,570
nightly in Accrington. A standing
ovation.

678
00:36:22,210 --> 00:36:23,850
How very fertile of you.

679
00:36:24,390 --> 00:36:25,390
Well, I'll get him in.

680
00:36:25,590 --> 00:36:26,590
Again.

681
00:36:27,710 --> 00:36:30,950
Oh, only a small one for me, Mr Big
Piece.

682
00:36:31,230 --> 00:36:32,630
Hey, small piece.

683
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:34,080
Oh, pardon me.

684
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:36,540
I don't want to be intoxicated.

685
00:36:37,460 --> 00:36:38,460
Hey, Nellie, come here.

686
00:36:39,100 --> 00:36:40,780
I've got something to tell you about
Vernon.

687
00:36:41,220 --> 00:36:42,580
You have ticked this fancy.

688
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:44,120
Well, I pledge.

689
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:45,920
I don't know such thing.

690
00:36:46,220 --> 00:36:47,840
Get off. Sticks out a mile.

691
00:36:48,660 --> 00:36:50,020
Well, I've never noticed anything.

692
00:36:51,500 --> 00:36:52,740
Do you really think so, though?

693
00:36:53,020 --> 00:36:54,700
Yes. OK, sit.

694
00:36:55,020 --> 00:36:56,020
Here we are.

695
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:57,280
That's it.

696
00:37:00,910 --> 00:37:02,790
I've just seen two pounds of mine in the
other bar.

697
00:37:03,150 --> 00:37:05,910
I'll go and buy him one. No, no, no,
don't bother.

698
00:37:06,110 --> 00:37:07,670
No, it's no bother. You two,

699
00:37:10,190 --> 00:37:11,830
Vernon. I'll see you later.

700
00:37:17,770 --> 00:37:18,890
Hello, lads. Hi.

701
00:37:19,830 --> 00:37:22,350
I was... I was just thinking.

702
00:37:23,350 --> 00:37:24,350
Oh?

703
00:37:25,310 --> 00:37:26,450
What were you thinking?

704
00:37:27,790 --> 00:37:28,790
I, uh...

705
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:31,240
Grand weather for the time of year.

706
00:37:32,980 --> 00:37:33,980
Yes.

707
00:37:37,180 --> 00:37:38,460
What have they all done with you two?

708
00:37:38,700 --> 00:37:40,120
You've got fishes like an open grave.

709
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:44,120
Aye. You know that big hotel we booked
into?

710
00:37:44,540 --> 00:37:47,820
Hmm? Where Bert and me was going to have
a holiday of a lifetime.

711
00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:49,900
Aye. They thought it was too late.

712
00:37:50,140 --> 00:37:51,480
Aye, but they chucked us out.

713
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:56,800
He started it, you know. Did he? Oh, I
don't know what he did.

714
00:37:57,080 --> 00:38:00,560
No. He sent the wine back because he
hadn't got a head on it.

715
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:06,580
Well, for that money, when he finished
it off, when the head waiter made him

716
00:38:06,580 --> 00:38:07,680
his tie round his neck.

717
00:38:08,060 --> 00:38:09,060
What the hell's wrong with that?

718
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,400
Well, they were holding his trousers up
at the time.

719
00:38:13,060 --> 00:38:14,760
And now we've got nowhere to go.

720
00:38:16,100 --> 00:38:17,100
We've been everywhere.

721
00:38:17,340 --> 00:38:18,400
They're all full up.

722
00:38:18,980 --> 00:38:21,140
And we've told them all, you know, we've
got plenty of money.

723
00:38:21,540 --> 00:38:22,540
Oh, I see.

724
00:38:23,620 --> 00:38:25,340
You've got plenty of money, have you?

725
00:38:25,580 --> 00:38:26,580
Aye.

726
00:38:29,070 --> 00:38:30,390
Leave it to little Eli.

727
00:38:31,630 --> 00:38:33,370
Oi, Kavasutra, come here.

728
00:38:33,970 --> 00:38:35,890
I'll have a drab buoy in a pipe pot.

729
00:38:36,230 --> 00:38:38,090
So you're in pickling too?

730
00:38:38,610 --> 00:38:39,910
Oh, hi, that's right.

731
00:38:40,830 --> 00:38:42,130
Do you like pickling?

732
00:38:42,450 --> 00:38:43,450
Oh, yes.

733
00:38:43,810 --> 00:38:45,390
Nothing gives me so much pleasure.

734
00:38:46,750 --> 00:38:49,890
Do you, um, do you pickle with your
wife?

735
00:38:50,470 --> 00:38:52,430
No. No, I'm not married.

736
00:38:52,710 --> 00:38:54,410
Oh, I see.

737
00:38:57,070 --> 00:39:00,410
I'd have thought you'd have had your
nuptials attended to a long time ago.

738
00:39:01,030 --> 00:39:02,550
No, no, not me.

739
00:39:02,890 --> 00:39:03,890
Oh.

740
00:39:04,150 --> 00:39:11,050
So there's no Mrs. Big Piece and no
little pieces running

741
00:39:11,050 --> 00:39:13,070
around in little short pants then?

742
00:39:13,490 --> 00:39:18,390
Fancy. So you're what they'd call an
illegitimate bachelor.

743
00:39:25,450 --> 00:39:26,690
Oh, you're a messy eater.

744
00:39:30,770 --> 00:39:33,590
I'm still hungry, Eli.

745
00:39:34,170 --> 00:39:35,250
Haven't you got anything else?

746
00:39:35,730 --> 00:39:38,070
I can't pinch out more out the kitchen,
can I?

747
00:39:38,510 --> 00:39:39,830
You've had six tins already.

748
00:39:40,530 --> 00:39:42,170
But they've all been pineapple chunks.

749
00:39:43,090 --> 00:39:45,010
Well, you was all pineapple chunks.

750
00:39:45,290 --> 00:39:46,290
Aye.

751
00:39:46,370 --> 00:39:47,370
That's funny.

752
00:39:48,110 --> 00:39:50,010
I've had six tins of baked beans.

753
00:39:50,470 --> 00:39:53,450
Oh, that's nice. It's going to be a wet
and windy night, isn't it? What do you

754
00:39:53,450 --> 00:39:54,750
expect for five pounds a night?

755
00:39:55,130 --> 00:39:56,130
Aye, each.

756
00:39:56,630 --> 00:40:00,350
Here. Hope you don't get into trouble,
you know, if the landlady finds out.

757
00:40:00,610 --> 00:40:01,610
Oh, don't worry about her.

758
00:40:01,910 --> 00:40:03,230
I can handle her all right.

759
00:40:04,710 --> 00:40:07,030
Down, down, down. Come on, quickly. Get
in.

760
00:40:07,550 --> 00:40:09,070
Here, hurry up. Hurry up.

761
00:40:11,510 --> 00:40:13,370
Oh, Eddie's all right.

762
00:40:15,510 --> 00:40:16,510
Oh!

763
00:40:18,570 --> 00:40:19,570
Ned?

764
00:40:20,990 --> 00:40:21,990
Can I come in?

765
00:40:23,340 --> 00:40:25,080
something to give you before you go to
sleep.

766
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:27,660
No lights, please, Mrs. Rowbottom.

767
00:40:27,860 --> 00:40:29,980
Oh, you prefer it in the dark, do you?

768
00:40:30,740 --> 00:40:32,080
I prefer the moonlight.

769
00:40:33,820 --> 00:40:34,820
Moonlight?

770
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,080
That's a street light.

771
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:40,280
Oh, you were just teasing me, weren't
you?

772
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:44,700
Yeah, I thought you might like something
to help you drop off, you know, so I

773
00:40:44,700 --> 00:40:45,800
brought you some cocoa and biscuits.

774
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:48,240
Shall I put it on the chair, shall I?
Yes, please.

775
00:40:49,180 --> 00:40:50,180
There you are.

776
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:52,040
Oh.

777
00:40:52,430 --> 00:40:54,210
It's getting quite close in here now,
isn't it?

778
00:40:55,530 --> 00:40:56,530
Yeah.

779
00:40:58,590 --> 00:41:03,170
I like your justice.

780
00:41:03,390 --> 00:41:04,390
Oh, good.

781
00:41:06,030 --> 00:41:07,270
That's better out than this, isn't it?

782
00:41:09,030 --> 00:41:12,310
Oh, are you liking the room, are you?
Yeah. Good.

783
00:41:12,610 --> 00:41:13,610
The bed?

784
00:41:13,730 --> 00:41:18,270
Yeah. I'm afraid it is a bit big, just
for one. Well, I like to spread my legs

785
00:41:18,270 --> 00:41:19,269
bit.

786
00:41:19,270 --> 00:41:20,970
It was really designed for two.

787
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:22,840
At least.

788
00:41:23,900 --> 00:41:28,220
You know, I've always wanted to meet a
nice fellow with healthy prospects.

789
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:31,000
Ever since Mr. Rowbottom fell off the
North Pier.

790
00:41:31,300 --> 00:41:35,400
You know, that night he was made
president of the Buffs. Oh, pity he

791
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:36,840
president of the swimming club, isn't
it?

792
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:40,640
Oh, sorry.

793
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:42,840
Did I hurt you? No, it was a bit
unexpected.

794
00:41:44,820 --> 00:41:45,820
Mr.

795
00:41:46,340 --> 00:41:49,420
Fletch, you do like to spread your legs,
don't you?

796
00:41:53,610 --> 00:41:54,810
I thought you felt that way.

797
00:41:55,790 --> 00:41:56,810
Oh, no.

798
00:41:57,350 --> 00:41:58,390
Oh, Mr. Fairchild.

799
00:41:58,630 --> 00:41:59,950
You are getting hot, aren't you?

800
00:42:02,430 --> 00:42:03,430
Oh, dear.

801
00:42:03,690 --> 00:42:04,750
I wonder who that was.

802
00:42:05,250 --> 00:42:08,850
Lily. I'd been followed by a fella all
the way from the pictures.

803
00:42:09,430 --> 00:42:12,570
I could feel his hot breath on the back
of my neck on the bus, and I wouldn't

804
00:42:12,570 --> 00:42:14,230
care, but he were four seats behind.

805
00:42:14,530 --> 00:42:15,970
I'll have to go and find out.

806
00:42:17,670 --> 00:42:20,230
Now, drink your cocoa.

807
00:42:21,530 --> 00:42:22,570
It will give you strength.

808
00:42:25,870 --> 00:42:28,010
Right. Who's been smoking in bed?

809
00:42:31,310 --> 00:42:33,010
Did you enjoy the picture, Nellie, love?

810
00:42:33,270 --> 00:42:38,670
Well, it was called Un homie et un femi.

811
00:42:39,050 --> 00:42:40,170
What does that mean?

812
00:42:40,490 --> 00:42:43,550
It means a man and a woman.

813
00:42:43,910 --> 00:42:45,190
Well, what was it about?

814
00:42:47,490 --> 00:42:48,490
Is he asleep?

815
00:42:49,730 --> 00:42:50,730
Yeah.

816
00:42:50,990 --> 00:42:52,450
Well, how shall I say?

817
00:42:53,450 --> 00:42:55,370
Imagine there's a man.

818
00:42:55,740 --> 00:42:56,740
And a woman.

819
00:42:57,680 --> 00:42:58,880
Like you and Walter.

820
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:04,320
Oh, not exactly like you and Walter, you
see, because they were French, you see.

821
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:06,340
And he wore perfume.

822
00:43:06,860 --> 00:43:07,860
Oh.

823
00:43:08,500 --> 00:43:10,120
Oh, I can't drop the stitch.

824
00:43:10,720 --> 00:43:11,720
Drop the stitch?

825
00:43:12,180 --> 00:43:14,180
That's nothing to the stitches they
dropped.

826
00:43:14,740 --> 00:43:19,700
Before you could cast one stitch on,
they'd cast every stitch off and they

827
00:43:19,700 --> 00:43:20,538
a bed together.

828
00:43:20,540 --> 00:43:21,980
Oh, do they, Carrie?

829
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:26,320
Are you sure he's asleep?

830
00:43:27,580 --> 00:43:29,560
Yes, love, we're probably a bit awind.

831
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:32,860
Now, go on, what were you saying about
this French man and woman? How did it

832
00:43:32,860 --> 00:43:36,080
end? Well, I don't rightly know, you
see, because this girl on me right, you

833
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,580
see, she was chewing glassy mints, you
see, like this.

834
00:43:40,300 --> 00:43:42,240
Well, I mean, I couldn't hear what I was
reading.

835
00:43:43,240 --> 00:43:48,760
Then, the fella on this side of me puts
his hand on me leg, like that.

836
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:50,040
What did you do?

837
00:43:50,460 --> 00:43:51,460
I said, here, here.

838
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:53,060
He says, where, where?

839
00:43:53,620 --> 00:43:55,090
And did you... To another seat?

840
00:43:55,490 --> 00:43:58,530
I couldn't. You see, my watch was faster
than his button. Eh?

841
00:43:59,350 --> 00:44:01,770
No, the button's on his cuff.

842
00:44:02,390 --> 00:44:06,290
Then it's just as if I haven't had
enough of it. A fellow behind gives me a

843
00:44:06,290 --> 00:44:08,210
on the shoulder and says, Shut up, you.

844
00:44:08,770 --> 00:44:10,870
So I said, shut up, you.

845
00:44:12,090 --> 00:44:15,350
I gave him two for one. When I looked
round, the picture had finished.

846
00:44:15,730 --> 00:44:16,730
Well, what did you do?

847
00:44:16,890 --> 00:44:17,890
Same for the manager.

848
00:44:17,910 --> 00:44:18,910
And what did he do?

849
00:44:19,810 --> 00:44:21,950
Well, he must have been a friend of his.

850
00:44:23,149 --> 00:44:24,149
Because he chucked me out.

851
00:44:25,830 --> 00:44:27,250
It's a good thing Vernon wasn't with me.

852
00:44:27,910 --> 00:44:29,290
I want to know where to put my face.

853
00:44:30,070 --> 00:44:31,390
Is this this fellow you've met?

854
00:44:32,110 --> 00:44:33,330
Have you fallen for him?

855
00:44:34,510 --> 00:44:36,810
I don't know. I mean, how would I know?

856
00:44:37,570 --> 00:44:42,090
Well, I only know that with Walter and
me, well, it was love at first sight.

857
00:44:42,990 --> 00:44:45,250
You should know yourself whether you're
in love with him or not.

858
00:44:46,250 --> 00:44:50,470
Well, I don't know. I mean, all I can
say is that when I first met him, well,

859
00:44:50,510 --> 00:44:51,510
he...

860
00:44:51,750 --> 00:44:52,750
Gave me a feeling.

861
00:44:55,410 --> 00:44:56,410
Oh,

862
00:44:57,450 --> 00:44:58,650
Mrs Broadbottom.

863
00:44:59,190 --> 00:45:00,590
Could I have my cocoa?

864
00:45:01,370 --> 00:45:02,370
For three?

865
00:45:05,830 --> 00:45:07,050
You were saying, Nellie?

866
00:45:07,270 --> 00:45:08,270
Yes.

867
00:45:08,490 --> 00:45:11,190
Now, look, I don't want you to think I'm
nosy and too far.

868
00:45:12,030 --> 00:45:14,590
But is it the first time you've ever had
it?

869
00:45:16,610 --> 00:45:18,870
No, I've had it before.

870
00:45:19,510 --> 00:45:20,690
Who did you get it off?

871
00:45:22,510 --> 00:45:26,010
Christopher Plummer in The Sound of
Music.

872
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:40,880
Let's see here.

873
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:42,620
I think I'll be going upstairs.

874
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:46,000
This new living bra, I think it's gone
to sleep on my chest.

875
00:46:46,900 --> 00:46:49,460
Stick it to be sunburned. We'll be up as
well.

876
00:46:49,900 --> 00:46:50,900
Come on, Walter.

877
00:47:19,660 --> 00:47:20,660
Nighty -night.

878
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:22,300
Mind the bugs don't bite.

879
00:47:25,700 --> 00:47:27,680
Oof, the muck in here.

880
00:47:36,500 --> 00:47:37,500
Stanley?

881
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,060
Stanley! Stanley!

882
00:47:45,620 --> 00:47:47,360
Oh, sorry, Mrs. Rowbottom.

883
00:47:50,380 --> 00:47:51,380
It's you, Walter.

884
00:47:58,420 --> 00:47:59,420
There.

885
00:48:01,500 --> 00:48:03,980
Oh. Can't you sleep, Mr. Pledge?

886
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:18,460
Stan? Stop messing about and get into
bed, will you?

887
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:20,120
You are.

888
00:48:22,890 --> 00:48:23,910
Nothing that you've got.

889
00:48:27,990 --> 00:48:28,990
Eli.

890
00:48:32,490 --> 00:48:34,210
Oh, the flaming hell are you?

891
00:48:35,810 --> 00:48:37,150
I'm birth and sure.

892
00:48:37,490 --> 00:48:38,490
You what?

893
00:48:38,850 --> 00:48:39,850
How do you do?

894
00:48:41,010 --> 00:48:42,010
Get off.

895
00:48:47,390 --> 00:48:48,390
Oh,

896
00:48:49,110 --> 00:48:50,110
me mother.

897
00:48:50,190 --> 00:48:51,290
No, it's me.

898
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:54,160
Oh, Miss Nellie.

899
00:48:54,260 --> 00:48:55,260
Oh,

900
00:48:55,960 --> 00:49:02,540
Miss Nellie, Miss Nellie. Get off, will
you? Come on, come on. Get out of here.

901
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:04,740
Come on. Let's have you out. Come on.

902
00:49:05,540 --> 00:49:08,660
Come on, now, then.

903
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:11,420
Where's your mate? Now, come on. Come
on, where is he? He's here.

904
00:49:11,860 --> 00:49:14,420
Hey, who's this? Is this your first
reserve?

905
00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:15,760
First reserve?

906
00:49:16,100 --> 00:49:18,740
Mrs. Rockbottom, what are you trying to
incinerate?

907
00:49:19,620 --> 00:49:21,680
These two have been with me many years.

908
00:49:22,020 --> 00:49:22,859
Have they?

909
00:49:22,860 --> 00:49:25,740
No wonder they can hardly keep their
eyes open. Here, I heard you talking

910
00:49:25,740 --> 00:49:27,420
downstairs, but seeing is believing.

911
00:49:27,700 --> 00:49:30,240
Now, I've warned you about the carrying
on in my boarding house.

912
00:49:30,540 --> 00:49:33,120
I mean, I wouldn't mind, but they're not
paying for it.

913
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:38,960
They'll pay for it. Oh, when I think of
that fine, upstanding brother of yours,

914
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:41,440
how he has remained untarnished with you
about.

915
00:49:42,300 --> 00:49:43,680
He's got a lot to answer for.

916
00:49:43,900 --> 00:49:46,640
Oh, oh, yes. Oh, and that's typical of
your type.

917
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:48,280
Good night, Earl.

918
00:49:51,150 --> 00:49:52,830
You could get 25 years for that.

919
00:49:53,090 --> 00:49:54,090
Oh, Nellie.

920
00:49:54,430 --> 00:49:55,470
Mrs. Rowbottom.

921
00:49:55,750 --> 00:49:56,990
Is she going to tuck us in?

922
00:49:57,190 --> 00:50:01,270
Tuck us in? You big freeze -arm pit.
She's going to tuck us out. Nellie,

923
00:50:01,270 --> 00:50:05,870
Nellie. Go on, go on. And you two, the
holiday's over.

924
00:50:06,130 --> 00:50:08,010
Go on, get gone and get home quickly.

925
00:50:08,290 --> 00:50:10,170
Oh, Nellie, Nellie.

926
00:50:28,790 --> 00:50:33,210
Did you all find it very invertebrating?
Yes, Miss Sally.

927
00:50:33,490 --> 00:50:34,810
Well, on with the pickling.

928
00:50:35,010 --> 00:50:38,150
We've just had a big export order come
in from Wakefield.

929
00:50:38,370 --> 00:50:39,370
Oh.

930
00:50:41,310 --> 00:50:42,310
Milk, Sam.

931
00:50:53,290 --> 00:50:54,290
What's up?

932
00:50:54,330 --> 00:50:57,950
You dodgy duck. You put no... You're
going to eat.

933
00:50:59,550 --> 00:51:01,970
But all I'm asking for is a bit more
time.

934
00:51:03,070 --> 00:51:05,010
The horses haven't been running for me.

935
00:51:05,850 --> 00:51:06,850
No, I know.

936
00:51:07,030 --> 00:51:08,090
Neither have the dogs.

937
00:51:08,570 --> 00:51:12,550
But... Are you sure that's how much I
owe you?

938
00:51:13,570 --> 00:51:14,570
By the left.

939
00:51:15,290 --> 00:51:19,950
I promise you, I'm on to a sure thing.
I'm working on it. And this one's got

940
00:51:19,950 --> 00:51:23,610
legs. It could be the best business deal
I ever made.

941
00:51:43,210 --> 00:51:43,908
Pickle speaking.

942
00:51:43,910 --> 00:51:46,510
This is Nellie Pickle. I mean, Nellie
Pledge.

943
00:51:46,830 --> 00:51:47,830
Hello, Nellie.

944
00:51:48,410 --> 00:51:49,790
It's Vernon here.

945
00:51:50,010 --> 00:51:51,930
Oh, have we come up on the pool?

946
00:51:52,230 --> 00:51:54,350
No, no, no, no. Not Vernon's.

947
00:51:54,790 --> 00:51:55,790
Vernon.

948
00:51:55,990 --> 00:51:57,190
Vernon from Blackpool.

949
00:51:57,570 --> 00:51:59,670
Oh. Oh, Mr. Big Piece.

950
00:52:00,010 --> 00:52:06,070
Well, just call me Vernon, Nellie. I
mean, we are friends, aren't we? Oh,

951
00:52:06,090 --> 00:52:09,730
indelibly. How nice of you to call me up
on the telephone, Vernon.

952
00:52:10,150 --> 00:52:12,250
I was just sitting here.

953
00:52:12,720 --> 00:52:17,200
Thinking and, well, I've missed you
since Blackpool.

954
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:23,300
Oh, have you? I was just wondering if I
could come round and call on you. See

955
00:52:23,300 --> 00:52:25,420
you. Take you out, perhaps.

956
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:27,760
A day in the country.

957
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:31,380
Oh, I don't know. I'll have to think
about it. Yes.

958
00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:39,380
You all right?

959
00:52:39,660 --> 00:52:41,440
Yeah. I think I've got myself a
mischief.

960
00:52:42,570 --> 00:52:43,570
I've got this lump.

961
00:52:44,090 --> 00:52:46,650
Well, this is where you'll be working.

962
00:52:47,070 --> 00:52:48,070
The parlour.

963
00:52:48,170 --> 00:52:49,430
More private than the factory.

964
00:52:49,890 --> 00:52:52,970
Eli, I suppose your sister does know
that I'm going to be your secretary.

965
00:52:55,070 --> 00:52:57,870
Yeah, well, that will be your first job,
you see. We'll write her a letter.

966
00:52:59,250 --> 00:53:00,250
You can type.

967
00:53:00,410 --> 00:53:02,070
Well, I've done a bit with one finger.

968
00:53:02,590 --> 00:53:05,010
And my last boss said I had a lovely
touch.

969
00:53:06,570 --> 00:53:07,650
That's what I like to hear.

970
00:53:08,310 --> 00:53:09,890
Now, this desk. Let's have a look.

971
00:53:10,290 --> 00:53:11,290
Oh, Eli.

972
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:13,200
Wait to get on the job.

973
00:53:13,720 --> 00:53:16,900
Hey, where would you like to have it?
Under the window.

974
00:53:17,140 --> 00:53:19,040
I don't mind where we have it, Eli.

975
00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:22,480
What's going on in here, in our best
parlour?

976
00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:24,520
And when did the cat drag her in?

977
00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:27,080
Frida is my new secretary.

978
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:28,920
Secretary?

979
00:53:29,540 --> 00:53:34,260
We can't afford to have some flighty bit
sat sitting on her brain doing squiggly

980
00:53:34,260 --> 00:53:35,260
writing.

981
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:37,440
Short hands, short ass.

982
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:40,200
I know your tricks.

983
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:45,040
luring young girls in here into the
parlour like a spider to your fly.

984
00:53:45,340 --> 00:53:48,420
She is my new secretary, and she is
working in here.

985
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:54,260
She is not parking her bits and pieces
in this parlour where my dad was lay

986
00:53:54,260 --> 00:53:56,300
lying stretched out in his coffin.

987
00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:58,320
You never flame and use it.

988
00:53:58,740 --> 00:54:00,540
You big girl's blouse.

989
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,440
Parlours are not for using.

990
00:54:04,240 --> 00:54:05,380
They are for keeping.

991
00:54:05,700 --> 00:54:10,200
For what? For things, like birthdays and
funerals.

992
00:54:10,730 --> 00:54:12,210
And when we have them all round for
Christmas.

993
00:54:12,570 --> 00:54:16,350
Oh, aye. Like that Christmas, eh? When
me Auntie Ethel came round. She sang one

994
00:54:16,350 --> 00:54:18,830
chorus of White Christmas and all the
bloody soot fell down the chimney.

995
00:54:19,310 --> 00:54:20,310
Shut up, you.

996
00:54:20,390 --> 00:54:21,390
Shut up, you.

997
00:54:21,570 --> 00:54:22,570
Come out.

998
00:54:23,070 --> 00:54:24,070
Who?

999
00:54:25,430 --> 00:54:26,430
Pardon me.

1000
00:54:27,550 --> 00:54:28,970
Well, you've had your fling.

1001
00:54:29,490 --> 00:54:32,710
You can get right back in there and tell
Flashlight Fanny to sling a hook.

1002
00:54:32,970 --> 00:54:33,990
I know what she's after.

1003
00:54:34,470 --> 00:54:35,470
I only hope you're right.

1004
00:54:35,730 --> 00:54:38,730
I don't think she could use a
typewriter. She'd get trapped in the

1005
00:54:38,970 --> 00:54:39,970
She can do the job.

1006
00:54:40,140 --> 00:54:42,420
Flat on the back. I can see what she is.
All falsified.

1007
00:54:42,700 --> 00:54:48,100
False hair, false eyelashes, false
fingernails. Oh, and all that

1008
00:54:48,100 --> 00:54:50,900
you can tell her never to dorken my dark
step again.

1009
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:53,580
She's staying. She's not staying. She's
staying. She is not staying.

1010
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:56,280
She can flame inflict in a flipping
flash.

1011
00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:59,240
Anyway, I haven't got time to argue with
you.

1012
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:01,820
I have to get ready for my date.

1013
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:03,040
You've got a date.

1014
00:55:05,310 --> 00:55:09,090
Yes, Vermin is going to call and take me
out. Always taking me out. I mean, he's

1015
00:55:09,090 --> 00:55:12,450
taking you out, is he? Yes, he's calling
here. And by the way, he was talking to

1016
00:55:12,450 --> 00:55:13,490
me on the telephone.

1017
00:55:13,790 --> 00:55:17,510
I wouldn't be surprised if very soon
he's going to put it to me.

1018
00:56:32,490 --> 00:56:33,490
Bye.

1019
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:34,700
Oh, it's terrible and it stinks.

1020
00:57:41,580 --> 00:57:42,580
No,

1021
00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:45,540
I can't go through with it.

1022
00:57:46,060 --> 00:57:46,919
I'll emigrate.

1023
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:47,920
That's what I'll do.

1024
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:50,740
I'll go abroad where nobody can find me.
I'll flee the country.

1025
00:57:51,020 --> 00:57:52,080
Ah, there you are, Vernon.

1026
00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:53,339
Now, get impatient.

1027
00:57:53,340 --> 00:57:54,279
She knows you're here.

1028
00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:59,100
She'll be down in a minute. Come to...
Pop the question, have you? Well, I...

1029
00:57:59,100 --> 00:58:00,100
Don't be nervous.

1030
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:03,380
Well, no, I can't. Of course you can.
There's nothing to it.

1031
00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:05,320
She's just waiting for it.

1032
00:58:05,940 --> 00:58:06,980
Give it to her straight.

1033
00:58:07,240 --> 00:58:08,620
Come on, lad. Sit down.

1034
00:58:09,540 --> 00:58:11,100
Would you like a couple of tablets,
would you?

1035
00:58:13,020 --> 00:58:14,020
I'm all over Twitter.

1036
00:58:14,620 --> 00:58:15,620
Oh, these heels.

1037
00:58:23,760 --> 00:58:25,260
Oh, lovely bloomers.

1038
00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:26,439
For you.

1039
00:58:26,440 --> 00:58:28,920
Oh, thank you.

1040
00:58:30,540 --> 00:58:31,540
Hey,

1041
00:58:31,940 --> 00:58:32,940
he's got a message for you.

1042
00:58:33,180 --> 00:58:35,460
Yes? Oh, there's no card.

1043
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:40,460
Not that kind of message, you daft
old... Now, now, now is the hour.

1044
00:58:40,900 --> 00:58:43,700
Well, brother -in -law, I'll leave you
to it.

1045
00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:47,760
I'm off down to the spread eagle for a
pint. I'll come with you. Not just yet.

1046
00:58:48,420 --> 00:58:49,760
Get on with it.

1047
00:58:51,980 --> 00:58:53,060
you doing stood standing here?

1048
00:58:53,600 --> 00:59:00,520
If I keep him at it, I'll have my share

1049
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:01,279
of the money.

1050
00:59:01,280 --> 00:59:02,600
Be out of here in no time.

1051
00:59:02,820 --> 00:59:05,160
I mean, you don't have to get down on
your knees.

1052
00:59:05,500 --> 00:59:10,320
Eh? I mean, to put it to me, I mean, you
can stay sat sitting if you like.

1053
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:19,240
Nellie. Yes?

1054
00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:20,700
Nellie, will you...

1055
00:59:21,020 --> 00:59:25,000
Will you? Oh, I will. I do. I must. I
will.

1056
00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:27,460
Oh, say no more. Say no more.

1057
00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:41,000
Nellie, Vernon, here's to you.

1058
00:59:41,340 --> 00:59:44,680
And thank you, Vernon, for inviting us
out to your engagement party.

1059
00:59:44,900 --> 00:59:47,100
Well, I hope it's going to be worth
every penny. Good luck.

1060
00:59:48,630 --> 00:59:51,110
See, this place has changed since it was
the co -op cafe.

1061
00:59:51,410 --> 00:59:53,570
I mean, all those waitresses used to be
fellas.

1062
00:59:54,570 --> 00:59:55,570
Lily,

1063
00:59:56,270 --> 01:00:01,970
has he been just as well the way he's up
in all that?

1064
01:00:02,310 --> 01:00:05,270
Hey, I don't think most brothers are
going to take these trousers back.

1065
01:00:06,030 --> 01:00:08,790
Anything else you want at this table?
We'll have two of those with chocolate

1066
01:00:08,790 --> 01:00:09,790
sauce on.

1067
01:00:10,470 --> 01:00:12,950
Oh, look! He's filling it all down in.

1068
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:19,260
Lily, I think you'd better do this,
because after all, he is your husband.

1069
01:00:19,700 --> 01:00:20,800
I doubt if he'd notice.

1070
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:23,220
May I have the pleasure now?

1071
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:25,000
You are?

1072
01:00:25,540 --> 01:00:26,660
Of this dance.

1073
01:00:27,200 --> 01:00:29,900
Oh, thank you very glad.

1074
01:00:50,220 --> 01:00:51,220
looking so happy.

1075
01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:52,460
Look at your face.

1076
01:00:52,980 --> 01:00:54,700
She's like a young girl again.

1077
01:01:01,140 --> 01:01:02,740
You come here often.

1078
01:01:03,540 --> 01:01:04,900
The music's loud.

1079
01:01:05,300 --> 01:01:06,880
I can't hear you, Nellie.

1080
01:01:07,780 --> 01:01:10,980
Often. You come here. You.

1081
01:01:11,820 --> 01:01:13,740
I can't hear a word you say.

1082
01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:30,800
did enjoy that.

1083
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:32,140
Vernon's a lovely dancer.

1084
01:01:32,600 --> 01:01:35,620
I mean, you can always tell somebody,
you know, when they've got an ingrowing

1085
01:01:35,620 --> 01:01:36,960
sense of rhythm.

1086
01:01:37,920 --> 01:01:41,720
Did you know he was in the South East
Lancashire Formation dancing team?

1087
01:01:42,060 --> 01:01:45,380
By the look of him, I thought he was the
South East Lancashire Formation dancing

1088
01:01:45,380 --> 01:01:46,380
team.

1089
01:01:48,720 --> 01:01:53,100
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and
welcome to the Starlight Club.

1090
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:01,700
with Miss Mimi Lavea.

1091
01:02:10,500 --> 01:02:11,540
That's not Mimi Lavea.

1092
01:02:12,060 --> 01:02:13,240
That's Mabel Gartside.

1093
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:18,160
Her mother did some funny appealing for
us, you know. She only lives up the

1094
01:02:18,160 --> 01:02:19,500
street. Oh, it's a shame.

1095
01:02:20,820 --> 01:02:21,820
Hello, Mabel.

1096
01:02:22,740 --> 01:02:23,740
Hi, Christina.

1097
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:26,380
That's her being a stage dancer.

1098
01:02:26,740 --> 01:02:28,780
That's I heard of it. She was a bus
conductor.

1099
01:02:29,610 --> 01:02:31,550
She can punch my ticket any time she
likes.

1100
01:02:36,030 --> 01:02:40,630
Lovely dancer, though. I bet she does a
good turn.

1101
01:02:45,930 --> 01:02:47,410
Oh, she dropped the glove.

1102
01:03:04,650 --> 01:03:07,410
What's she doing there? Just standing
there, scratching her back.

1103
01:03:07,910 --> 01:03:09,470
Oh, no, it's a zipper. It's broken.

1104
01:03:11,010 --> 01:03:12,010
She's picking them up.

1105
01:03:19,490 --> 01:03:21,870
She's one of those strict teethers. I'll
bet her mother doesn't know.

1106
01:03:22,250 --> 01:03:23,830
It'll put her in hospital when I tell
her.

1107
01:03:24,240 --> 01:03:25,460
Get off her, Mother Nose.

1108
01:03:25,700 --> 01:03:28,760
She's getting her share of the brass,
I'll tell you. Saw a pickling in a mink

1109
01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:29,760
coat the other day, I did.

1110
01:03:30,820 --> 01:03:33,780
Neighbor Guts, I should tell our Eli
that your mother doesn't know about what

1111
01:03:33,780 --> 01:03:34,780
you're doing, does she?

1112
01:03:40,100 --> 01:03:43,420
And don't you wag your bottom at me,
otherwise I'll tan it for you.

1113
01:03:43,780 --> 01:03:45,780
And Fermi, don't you look at her.

1114
01:03:46,260 --> 01:03:49,320
She's doing things that no man should
see with the lights on.

1115
01:04:06,600 --> 01:04:07,600
You see him in the street?

1116
01:04:07,900 --> 01:04:08,900
Oh, I wouldn't say that.

1117
01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:15,420
Oh, no.

1118
01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:22,680
You're not taking any more off. Get
behind there, you little... Is

1119
01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:23,680
she with you?

1120
01:04:23,740 --> 01:04:26,220
No, I've never seen her before. I
thought she was partly out. Oh, yeah.

1121
01:04:26,420 --> 01:04:27,440
She's with us, yes.

1122
01:04:27,900 --> 01:04:28,900
Oh, God!

1123
01:04:38,160 --> 01:04:38,999
this morning.

1124
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:40,060
What a night that was.

1125
01:04:40,500 --> 01:04:42,440
And I've got his bachelor night to look
out for.

1126
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:46,160
Well, Vernon shouldn't have taken us to
a place like that.

1127
01:04:46,740 --> 01:04:48,640
What the hell did you want to get us
chucked out for?

1128
01:04:55,960 --> 01:04:57,000
What the hell's up with you?

1129
01:04:57,500 --> 01:04:59,560
Just making sure there's nobody about,
you see.

1130
01:04:59,820 --> 01:05:02,660
Because I want to have a private
conflagration with you.

1131
01:05:02,940 --> 01:05:04,100
What about the wedding ceremony?

1132
01:05:04,620 --> 01:05:06,360
Oh, not the wedding itself.

1133
01:05:09,390 --> 01:05:10,390
About... After.

1134
01:05:11,870 --> 01:05:13,170
After? Hmm.

1135
01:05:14,630 --> 01:05:15,750
On the night time.

1136
01:05:16,250 --> 01:05:17,250
You know.

1137
01:05:17,290 --> 01:05:20,110
I mean, what's he going to do when he
sees me?

1138
01:05:20,590 --> 01:05:21,590
Stood standing there.

1139
01:05:22,190 --> 01:05:23,190
In me shift.

1140
01:05:24,070 --> 01:05:26,370
Catch the next bloody boat to China, I
shouldn't wonder.

1141
01:05:26,990 --> 01:05:28,150
Don't talk soft.

1142
01:05:29,370 --> 01:05:32,310
I mean, I'm in the midnight of me life.

1143
01:05:32,890 --> 01:05:35,490
And I mean, nothing's ever happened to
me.

1144
01:05:36,590 --> 01:05:37,590
In the afternoon.

1145
01:05:38,350 --> 01:05:40,070
I just don't know what to do.

1146
01:05:40,770 --> 01:05:41,890
What to do about what?

1147
01:05:42,570 --> 01:05:47,130
About, you know, thingy.

1148
01:05:47,590 --> 01:05:48,970
You mean the opposite sex?

1149
01:05:49,230 --> 01:05:53,750
Shut up. Did my dad tell you?

1150
01:05:54,310 --> 01:05:55,310
I did ask you once.

1151
01:05:56,010 --> 01:06:00,630
I said to him, Dad, I feel I'm growing
up and I'd like to know where I come

1152
01:06:00,630 --> 01:06:01,630
from.

1153
01:06:01,650 --> 01:06:02,650
And what did he say?

1154
01:06:03,160 --> 01:06:06,360
He looked me up and down and he said, I
keep asking myself the same bloody

1155
01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:07,360
question.

1156
01:06:08,020 --> 01:06:09,220
What did our ma 'am tell you?

1157
01:06:10,280 --> 01:06:12,800
Nothing. Well, did you ever ask her?

1158
01:06:13,380 --> 01:06:14,380
Yes.

1159
01:06:14,860 --> 01:06:17,340
She said she'd tell me after I turned
21.

1160
01:06:17,880 --> 01:06:19,860
Well, what did she tell you when you
turned 21?

1161
01:06:20,420 --> 01:06:24,040
Well, she said, if I didn't know then, I
never bloody would know.

1162
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:31,580
Well, I'm waiting.

1163
01:06:32,940 --> 01:06:39,640
Well, Nellie, it's a bit difficult, you
know. I mean, you see, men

1164
01:06:39,640 --> 01:06:42,240
are different to women.

1165
01:06:44,440 --> 01:06:48,460
I know men are different to women, Duff
Clot.

1166
01:06:48,900 --> 01:06:54,200
I mean, I've read books and I've been to
the art gallery. I've seen these

1167
01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:55,320
statues, you know.

1168
01:06:57,160 --> 01:06:59,460
There's one just as you go in.

1169
01:07:09,480 --> 01:07:10,600
Ooh, these sculpturers.

1170
01:07:11,160 --> 01:07:13,240
They don't know when to stop chiselling,
do they?

1171
01:07:14,340 --> 01:07:17,540
I suppose that statue is what you call a
Greek god.

1172
01:07:17,820 --> 01:07:20,200
I don't know if he were Greek, but he
was a big lad.

1173
01:07:21,220 --> 01:07:22,460
Well, what's worrying you then?

1174
01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:26,540
Well, I'm going to get married next
week, aren't I? I don't want Vernon to

1175
01:07:26,540 --> 01:07:27,540
disappointed.

1176
01:07:28,340 --> 01:07:31,280
If you're going by that statue in the
art gallery, it's you that's going to be

1177
01:07:31,280 --> 01:07:32,280
bloody disappointed.

1178
01:07:33,720 --> 01:07:35,280
Oh, shut up.

1179
01:08:00,530 --> 01:08:04,690
Don't want to wake another up. Not
tonight because it's the night before

1180
01:08:04,690 --> 01:08:05,690
wedding, you see.

1181
01:08:05,760 --> 01:08:08,460
Hey, you won't get much sleep tomorrow
night.

1182
01:08:09,440 --> 01:08:13,680
Wash your mouth out with soap, you dirty
old man. You dirty, dirty old man.

1183
01:08:13,980 --> 01:08:14,980
Use this.

1184
01:08:15,780 --> 01:08:17,140
Oh, we're going.

1185
01:08:17,460 --> 01:08:19,180
Here, we're going. We're going.

1186
01:08:24,020 --> 01:08:25,340
Can't find the bloody old.

1187
01:08:25,580 --> 01:08:26,760
Oh. Here.

1188
01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:29,680
Oh.

1189
01:08:30,960 --> 01:08:34,120
I've dropped the key. I've dropped the
key down the bloody bed.

1190
01:08:34,399 --> 01:08:35,399
Oh.

1191
01:08:35,970 --> 01:08:38,910
How are we going to get in? How are we
going to get in? I don't know.

1192
01:08:40,350 --> 01:08:41,328
I've got an idea.

1193
01:08:41,330 --> 01:08:41,969
Have you?

1194
01:08:41,970 --> 01:08:44,450
Round the corner, round the corner. Come
on, we'll go round the corner. Round

1195
01:08:44,450 --> 01:08:45,288
the corner.

1196
01:08:45,290 --> 01:08:48,689
There is a tower in the town, in the
town.

1197
01:09:04,810 --> 01:09:10,710
I'll get my leg in. I can't get my leg
in. Get the other one in. I've got your

1198
01:09:10,710 --> 01:09:14,130
leg in. Where are you?

1199
01:09:15,170 --> 01:09:16,049
I'm here.

1200
01:09:16,050 --> 01:09:18,149
Get me in. Come on, I'll get you in.

1201
01:09:18,649 --> 01:09:19,649
I'll get you in.

1202
01:09:20,870 --> 01:09:22,970
I've got you in.

1203
01:09:24,410 --> 01:09:25,410
Come on.

1204
01:09:27,910 --> 01:09:28,970
Who's turned the lights off?

1205
01:09:30,410 --> 01:09:32,090
You've got a noon on your head.

1206
01:09:32,350 --> 01:09:32,969
A what?

1207
01:09:32,970 --> 01:09:34,970
You've got an urn on your head.

1208
01:09:35,990 --> 01:09:38,350
I've never seen that before.

1209
01:09:39,130 --> 01:09:43,770
Hey, you and Ellie bought it today for
your mum and dad's grave.

1210
01:09:44,229 --> 01:09:48,630
Yeah. It's got something written on it.
What does it say, Stanley?

1211
01:09:48,850 --> 01:09:53,770
It says, to mum and dad, united forever.

1212
01:09:54,490 --> 01:09:55,990
Had dad a lot like that?

1213
01:09:56,550 --> 01:09:57,550
Why not?

1214
01:09:57,650 --> 01:09:59,050
He was a bloody city supporter.

1215
01:10:01,860 --> 01:10:02,920
Here we are.

1216
01:10:04,220 --> 01:10:05,560
That door opened.

1217
01:10:05,820 --> 01:10:07,340
Hey, be careful now.

1218
01:10:07,760 --> 01:10:10,500
Hey, don't squeeze him like a lemon.

1219
01:10:10,740 --> 01:10:12,080
There's all the juice out of him now.

1220
01:10:12,660 --> 01:10:14,500
Come on now. He wants to go.

1221
01:10:14,880 --> 01:10:16,140
Here, come on. Here you go.

1222
01:10:16,540 --> 01:10:18,880
It's the first of the left down the
passage. That's the idea.

1223
01:10:19,400 --> 01:10:20,400
Where's that champagne?

1224
01:10:20,620 --> 01:10:22,520
Get champagne.

1225
01:10:22,840 --> 01:10:25,760
Derek, we're going to have a party. All
right. Yes.

1226
01:10:26,360 --> 01:10:27,940
We're going to have a party like they
did.

1227
01:10:28,360 --> 01:10:30,380
In Paris in the 1800s. Ooh!

1228
01:10:30,640 --> 01:10:35,080
A private room at Maxime's. Ooh,
Maxime's. We'll drink it out of a lady's

1229
01:10:35,080 --> 01:10:36,080
slipper. Aye.

1230
01:10:36,320 --> 01:10:37,420
Aye, aye, aye. What?

1231
01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:39,180
Where did you get that?

1232
01:10:39,460 --> 01:10:42,580
I pinched it off that stripper we saw at
Club of the Night. Ooh!

1233
01:10:43,800 --> 01:10:45,240
Anyway, we'll have a nice drink.

1234
01:10:45,520 --> 01:10:48,580
Wait a minute, I'm trying to get the
cock out. Ooh, isn't that nice? Ooh,

1235
01:10:48,580 --> 01:10:49,960
at that. It's fruity, isn't it?

1236
01:10:50,440 --> 01:10:52,720
Aye. Is it fruity? Aye.

1237
01:10:52,960 --> 01:10:55,260
Aye, I enjoyed that. You were in it
then?

1238
01:10:55,520 --> 01:10:57,420
Is it? I was like, ready then.

1239
01:11:00,019 --> 01:11:01,400
Aye, that's smooth.

1240
01:11:01,600 --> 01:11:03,000
I never felt it go down.

1241
01:11:03,360 --> 01:11:05,060
Can I have a drink?

1242
01:11:05,380 --> 01:11:08,040
Aye, but be very careful because it's
very volatile.

1243
01:11:08,480 --> 01:11:11,220
Is it? Oh, terribly, terribly.

1244
01:11:12,320 --> 01:11:13,900
I think it is raining then.

1245
01:11:14,300 --> 01:11:15,300
Oh, I'm wet.

1246
01:11:15,720 --> 01:11:17,320
Oh, I'm all wet.

1247
01:11:17,580 --> 01:11:19,340
I'm all wet, I'm all wet.

1248
01:11:19,660 --> 01:11:24,200
Oh. I'll have to take my trousers off,
Stanley. Hey, hey, hey. You, you, you,

1249
01:11:24,240 --> 01:11:27,180
you sweat for me like that girl at the
club.

1250
01:11:31,970 --> 01:11:34,230
I'll show you. I put a musical.

1251
01:11:34,430 --> 01:11:35,430
I put a musical.

1252
01:11:57,960 --> 01:11:58,960
Go, baby, go.

1253
01:12:00,540 --> 01:12:01,540
Go.

1254
01:12:32,200 --> 01:12:33,280
Yeah, Maula.

1255
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:39,720
Ha, ha, ha, ha. Go on, go on. Go on, go
on.

1256
01:12:40,360 --> 01:12:42,040
Ha, ha, ha, ha.

1257
01:12:43,240 --> 01:12:44,240
Ha, ha, ha, ha.

1258
01:12:45,020 --> 01:12:46,440
Ha, ha, ha, ha.

1259
01:12:46,760 --> 01:12:48,100
Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh!

1260
01:12:48,640 --> 01:12:49,640
Go on, go on.

1261
01:12:50,140 --> 01:12:51,140
Ha,

1262
01:12:55,780 --> 01:12:57,240
ha, ha, ha.

1263
01:12:57,780 --> 01:12:58,759
Ha, ha, ha, ha.

1264
01:12:58,760 --> 01:13:00,740
Ha, ha, ha, ha.

1265
01:13:02,210 --> 01:13:05,250
Yeah! Oh, it's you! You flaming rent -a
-grade!

1266
01:13:05,470 --> 01:13:06,470
Get out of there!

1267
01:13:08,570 --> 01:13:10,910
And you!

1268
01:13:35,530 --> 01:13:36,269
as Mr Eli.

1269
01:13:36,270 --> 01:13:37,228
Right, Claude.

1270
01:13:37,230 --> 01:13:38,270
Hey, Claude. Yes, sir.

1271
01:13:38,490 --> 01:13:40,710
Set my braces on my shoulders, will you?
Yeah, I will.

1272
01:13:41,770 --> 01:13:44,430
I'll tell you what, I'll do them up for
you. Oh, tell her you like. I'm very

1273
01:13:44,430 --> 01:13:45,430
good at doing up braces.

1274
01:13:45,710 --> 01:13:47,890
Are you? I always do me man's for her.
For your man?

1275
01:13:48,130 --> 01:13:49,130
Aye.

1276
01:13:49,230 --> 01:13:50,230
What a funny woman.

1277
01:13:51,330 --> 01:13:53,030
Well, hurry up. I've got to get dressed.

1278
01:13:53,430 --> 01:13:54,430
Here I am, Mr Eli.

1279
01:14:06,160 --> 01:14:07,059
Oh, you, sir.

1280
01:14:07,060 --> 01:14:08,340
Sorry. Is that right?

1281
01:14:08,740 --> 01:14:10,060
Oh, no, that's not right, is it?

1282
01:14:12,980 --> 01:14:13,980
What's the matter?

1283
01:14:14,040 --> 01:14:18,060
You're joking me. Pardon? I can't hear
you. You're joking me. Oh, I'm sorry.

1284
01:14:18,840 --> 01:14:19,840
There it goes.

1285
01:14:20,000 --> 01:14:21,440
There it goes.

1286
01:14:24,080 --> 01:14:26,600
Is that right now?

1287
01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:29,440
What are you talking about? Will you get
off me?

1288
01:14:31,000 --> 01:14:35,620
Now, if I take that like that, go like
that.

1289
01:14:42,040 --> 01:14:42,999
All right.

1290
01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:46,040
Now, if I go out like that.

1291
01:14:47,040 --> 01:14:51,920
There you are. Oh, no, Mr. Eli, please.
Oh, Mr. Eli, no, Mr. Eli. Oh, please,

1292
01:14:51,920 --> 01:14:55,060
Mr. Eli, no, please. Look, will you get
me out of it?

1293
01:15:09,610 --> 01:15:13,390
If you're supposed to take it down like
that, it'll go like that.

1294
01:15:18,970 --> 01:15:20,910
It's not quite right. Get off me!

1295
01:15:21,130 --> 01:15:22,990
You've done enough, Danny. Come on,
Danny, outside.

1296
01:15:23,270 --> 01:15:24,910
Go on, off it. Get off, get off.

1297
01:15:25,950 --> 01:15:30,350
Here they are, Sleepy, Grumpy and Dopey.
Go and sit down, you.

1298
01:15:32,850 --> 01:15:34,430
Hey, hey, how do I look?

1299
01:15:34,770 --> 01:15:38,010
You look fine. How do I look? I don't
know. I can't see yet.

1300
01:15:38,330 --> 01:15:39,330
Oi. What?

1301
01:15:39,560 --> 01:15:40,940
Swap hats, you gretators.

1302
01:15:41,500 --> 01:15:42,900
Oh, aye, yeah. Here.

1303
01:15:44,680 --> 01:15:45,680
Ah,

1304
01:15:47,900 --> 01:15:48,779
that's better.

1305
01:15:48,780 --> 01:15:50,340
Now, who's got the buttonholes?

1306
01:15:50,580 --> 01:15:52,360
I don't know. Mr. Eli.

1307
01:15:52,620 --> 01:15:53,419
Mr. Eli.

1308
01:15:53,420 --> 01:15:55,020
Oh, bloody Norris. That's one of them.

1309
01:15:55,400 --> 01:15:56,400
Get up. Come out of it.

1310
01:15:58,560 --> 01:16:00,840
We can't wear these. They're all broke,
look.

1311
01:16:02,460 --> 01:16:03,239
Hang on.

1312
01:16:03,240 --> 01:16:04,240
I'll tell you what.

1313
01:16:04,620 --> 01:16:05,620
Look.

1314
01:16:05,960 --> 01:16:07,700
Take these. Put one of those in your
buttonhole.

1315
01:16:07,940 --> 01:16:09,760
Here. Here you are, one for you.

1316
01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:11,120
Hey, these are plastic.

1317
01:16:11,720 --> 01:16:14,400
Oh, shut your mouth. You're a Russian,
not a bridesmaid, aren't you? Go on, get

1318
01:16:14,400 --> 01:16:19,320
off. Go on. Get lost. Go on. Hop it. Go
on. Mr. Eli, you can have mine.

1319
01:16:19,700 --> 01:16:20,700
Oh, thanks very much.

1320
01:16:21,100 --> 01:16:22,100
That idiot.

1321
01:16:25,160 --> 01:16:28,960
Well, this is it, Ferdinand. Point of no
return. Journey into the unknown. Stop

1322
01:16:28,960 --> 01:16:32,600
saying that, Eli. The union of two great
pickling factories, and I'll let you

1323
01:16:32,600 --> 01:16:33,600
run both concerns.

1324
01:16:34,620 --> 01:16:35,640
I don't like apple.

1325
01:16:36,300 --> 01:16:37,300
Which is apple?

1326
01:16:37,740 --> 01:16:38,740
Hey.

1327
01:16:38,860 --> 01:16:42,000
And as I'm a sleeping partner, I'll let
you know where to send me money every

1328
01:16:42,000 --> 01:16:43,260
week. Sees me fine, Eli.

1329
01:16:45,680 --> 01:16:46,040
Bloody

1330
01:16:46,040 --> 01:16:53,620
hell,

1331
01:16:53,660 --> 01:16:54,980
Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire.

1332
01:17:11,360 --> 01:17:13,300
Come on, love. Down you get.

1333
01:17:14,200 --> 01:17:15,200
How do I look?

1334
01:17:15,680 --> 01:17:17,060
You look radiant, love.

1335
01:17:17,540 --> 01:17:19,040
Never thought I'd see the day.

1336
01:17:19,840 --> 01:17:21,640
Mrs. Vernon's small piece.

1337
01:17:22,020 --> 01:17:23,020
Come on, love.

1338
01:18:04,340 --> 01:18:05,800
Vernon's war piece. Yes.

1339
01:18:06,580 --> 01:18:08,260
Well, I am a court bailiff.

1340
01:18:08,520 --> 01:18:11,560
I've come here to arrest you for
ignoring a court order to pay a debt.

1341
01:18:11,780 --> 01:18:15,400
Well, I'm just getting married. Then I
can settle it all up. You what? I'm

1342
01:18:15,400 --> 01:18:16,740
afraid you'll have to postpone your
wedding.

1343
01:18:17,360 --> 01:18:18,440
You've got to come with me.

1344
01:18:18,820 --> 01:18:20,320
You can't arrest him.

1345
01:18:20,560 --> 01:18:22,560
He's a very wealthy old pickle
manufacturer.

1346
01:18:22,980 --> 01:18:26,340
A former old pickle manufacturer who is
now a bankrupt.

1347
01:18:27,660 --> 01:18:29,440
He owes money all over Lancashire, that
fellow.

1348
01:18:29,980 --> 01:18:32,400
I thought you were going to put money
into the firm, not take it out.

1349
01:18:33,460 --> 01:18:34,279
You'll be lucky.

1350
01:18:34,280 --> 01:18:36,080
We know you are. You won't have a
factory left.

1351
01:18:36,640 --> 01:18:37,499
Who are you?

1352
01:18:37,500 --> 01:18:38,720
What in Lancashire lay about?

1353
01:18:39,000 --> 01:18:42,180
Do you mean to tell me you were only
marrying her for her money? Can you

1354
01:18:42,180 --> 01:18:43,180
of another reason?

1355
01:18:44,020 --> 01:18:48,120
You'll probably do me a favour. Come on.
And if they ever let you out, don't you

1356
01:18:48,120 --> 01:18:49,120
come back here.

1357
01:18:51,000 --> 01:18:52,320
How the hell am I going to tell them?

1358
01:18:54,220 --> 01:18:55,220
Where's he gone?

1359
01:18:57,320 --> 01:19:01,600
Dearly beloved, we are gathered together
here in the sight of God and in the

1360
01:19:01,600 --> 01:19:06,840
face of this congregation to join
together this man and this woman in holy

1361
01:19:06,840 --> 01:19:08,600
matrimony. Excuse me, Your Reverence.

1362
01:19:09,020 --> 01:19:13,980
No, no, I can't be joined to him in holy
matrimony. You see, I only live with

1363
01:19:13,980 --> 01:19:17,440
him. You see, I mean, I can't marry him.

1364
01:19:17,900 --> 01:19:18,900
He's my brother.

1365
01:19:20,140 --> 01:19:21,620
Excuse me, Matt.

1366
01:19:22,380 --> 01:19:23,660
There's been a bit of a hitch, love.

1367
01:19:23,920 --> 01:19:25,180
A bit of a hitch? What do you mean?

1368
01:19:25,690 --> 01:19:26,690
Where's Vernon?

1369
01:19:27,270 --> 01:19:28,270
He's gone.

1370
01:19:29,130 --> 01:19:31,230
Gone? Well, he's coming back.

1371
01:19:32,230 --> 01:19:33,230
No, he's not, love.

1372
01:19:34,150 --> 01:19:36,430
Well, I thought... You see, it's all
over.

1373
01:19:36,790 --> 01:19:37,790
They've arrested him.

1374
01:19:37,930 --> 01:19:39,370
He owed money all over the place.

1375
01:19:40,470 --> 01:19:42,470
Well, I thought... So did I.

1376
01:19:43,010 --> 01:19:45,270
But to tell you the truth, Millie, it's
not the youth that he wanted.

1377
01:19:45,730 --> 01:19:46,730
It's the factory.

1378
01:19:46,890 --> 01:19:48,450
He wanted to get himself out of trouble.

1379
01:19:50,910 --> 01:19:52,770
Well, he never wanted.

1380
01:19:53,290 --> 01:19:54,290
No, he didn't, love.

1381
01:19:56,180 --> 01:19:58,260
Made a right fool of myself, I hope.

1382
01:20:00,520 --> 01:20:01,520
Have you ever lied?

1383
01:20:01,700 --> 01:20:02,700
No,

1384
01:20:02,960 --> 01:20:04,660
you haven't. Have a good cry if you want
to.

1385
01:20:04,900 --> 01:20:05,900
I'm not crying.

1386
01:20:06,300 --> 01:20:09,480
It's like my mum said, there's not a
fellow worth crying over.

1387
01:20:10,820 --> 01:20:11,820
I've said my dad.

1388
01:20:12,440 --> 01:20:13,820
Oh, come on, love.

1389
01:20:15,780 --> 01:20:17,540
Well, at least I got something out of
it.

1390
01:20:17,860 --> 01:20:20,200
What? A sideboard full of presents.

1391
01:20:20,960 --> 01:20:24,700
And if they want them back, well, I
mean, at least I'll have had them once.

1392
01:20:24,940 --> 01:20:25,940
Aye.

1393
01:20:26,190 --> 01:20:27,190
You've still got me.

1394
01:20:27,750 --> 01:20:29,190
Yeah, God help me.

1395
01:20:29,730 --> 01:20:32,330
Well, come on, let's collect that lot
and let's get home and have the do.

1396
01:20:32,710 --> 01:20:34,090
You're not still having the do.

1397
01:20:34,910 --> 01:20:37,570
We've got to have somebody to help us to
eat all that boil down.

1398
01:20:37,790 --> 01:20:38,790
Come on.

1399
01:20:39,390 --> 01:20:41,290
Just a minute, you're supposed to be on
my right.

1400
01:20:41,550 --> 01:20:42,349
All right.

1401
01:20:42,350 --> 01:20:45,510
Come here, here. Get that on you. What
are you playing at? Get off!

1402
01:20:45,730 --> 01:20:49,310
You bow -legged bruised boy. Who are you
calling names? You knock -kneed,

1403
01:20:49,310 --> 01:20:52,990
knackered old nosebag. You big, pleased
armpit. Oh, I see. That's it, is it?

1404
01:20:53,350 --> 01:20:55,510
Showing your temper after me, that's
what you're doing, aren't you? Oh, give

1405
01:20:55,510 --> 01:20:56,750
over. I'll show you in verse.

1406
01:20:56,970 --> 01:20:57,970
Oh, yes.

1407
01:21:06,730 --> 01:21:09,410
You are my nearest and dearest, you see.

1408
01:21:09,890 --> 01:21:12,710
And you mean all the world to me.

1409
01:21:13,470 --> 01:21:17,150
When you are by my side, the shadows run
and hide.

1410
01:21:17,570 --> 01:21:19,590
Oh, how great it can be.

1411
01:21:20,350 --> 01:21:27,270
You are my nearest and dearest, you know
And I need you wherever I go And

1412
01:21:27,270 --> 01:21:34,050
when you hold my hand It's like a
wonderland You know that I love you so I

1413
01:21:34,050 --> 01:21:41,030
the day comes soon When we'll be always
together You and me, you know that you

1414
01:21:41,030 --> 01:21:44,470
will be My nearest and dearest forever

1415
01:21:46,090 --> 01:21:49,270
Can't you see? God, I love you. Come
rain or come shine.

1416
01:21:49,710 --> 01:21:52,530
And I know you will always be mine.

1417
01:21:52,850 --> 01:21:59,230
I want the world to see that you will
always be the nearest and dearest to me.